Monday, August 31, 2015

Go Sell It on the Mountain


Wednesday, August 26, 2015

If You Give Hillary a Hashtag

If you give Hillary a hashtag,

She's going to want to tweet about it.

She'll need to use your computer, or one of her several smartphones,

And she'll want her own email server.

Tuesday, August 25, 2015

Trans-Offendered

You know what used to NEVER happen in America?  

This:
You’re out on the town, on the prowl, on the pull, drinking, dancing, hunting… And then you see HER. And she sees you. She tunes out the rest of the universe for you. She draws your attention in, and you’re riveted. Shared drinks, laughs, loud small-talk over the music, leaving together, my place or yours, start to get frisky, turns out she’s a guy.

Now so far the above was at least historically possible.

Here's the new part:

Bordering on Inanity

It seems those who call the Constitution a “living document,” and set to prove the axiom by continually attempting to throttle the life out of it, have no problem arguing about the intent of the Founding Fathers concerning the rights of citizens inherent in the Second Amendment. However, when it comes to the Fourteenth Amendment, by golly, that one’s tighter than Hillary Clinton’s security rope at a campaign stop in a flyover state.

She does still has time to campaign while she’s not busy shredding subpoenas and hard drives, doesn’t she?

Thursday, August 20, 2015

Is The Glass Half Full Or Half Empty?

Is the glass half full or half empty?  Some thoughts from a few people:


Optimist:  "The glass is half full".

Pessimist:  "The glass is half empty"

Liberal:  "What's in the glass is unfairly distributed".

Al Gore:   "What's in the glass will soon overflow and drown everybody if we don't control CO2 now".

Socialist:   "Whatever's in the glass belongs to the state anyway, so it's none of your business".

Diane Feinstein:  "High capacity glasses, (we refer to them as HCG),  lead to alcoholism, which has caused the deaths of millions.  HCG need to be banned immediately".

Thursday, August 13, 2015

If You Give a President a Pencil



If you give a President a pencil, he’s going to want a pen.


And then he’ll want a phone.


He’ll want to order a lot of old laws changed and new laws made, so you’ll have to remind him he can’t do that.


And that will make him sad.

Wednesday, August 12, 2015

NP Intrepid Adventure Team Discoveries & Resultant Opportunities, Part 1

NP Ancient Estates

We here at NukingPolitics HQ are ever-curious, omni-adventurous, ultra-capitalistic, and at least reasonably bright, and it’s high time we started bragging about it, in a reserved and dignified manner of course. Also, it's time to cash in!

We all know the old adage History repeats, and those who do not learn from history will not be in position to profit from this.  So with an eye towards taking advantage of the rise in Global Political Chaos (GPC), as well as the impending Global Cooling (GC) climate trend, we thought it would be a fantastic idea to review our planet for "transitional opportunities", as it were, in order to maximize NP shareholder value.

Sunday, August 9, 2015

Claims Require Evidence

In these days of Planned Parenthood butchery, Donald Trump clownery, Cecil the Lion deceasery, and the City of Ferguson’s repeat inflammability, I’ve decided to once again risk what little relevance I may have by adding to my list of articles addressing issues that are “off topic” from everyone’s concerns.  Strap in.

Saturday, August 1, 2015

Parenthetical Headlines

Today's actual headlines, slightly embellished subheadings.

(still no trace of Obama’s College records)

Sunday, July 26, 2015

WALKINGDEAD'S DEEP THOUGHTS

  • Thanks to bill Cosby and hulk hogan two of my major childhood role models are now pariahs... who's next, bill Paxton?


  • I'd really like to know what goes on in some peoples brains, not everyone's... just some people.






  • every time I hear about an atheist convention, I wonder how many of the attendees get the irony.



  • I think we're starting to put too many fallible people into infallible status.



  • I don't like the idea of slut shaming, not because I don't believe in sluts. But because I revere them they perform a very important service and it is integral to the American spirit, just as integral as apple pie baseball the bald eagle and entrepreneurs

  • Ok if Marco rubio uses a parody of ruby soho as his campaign song I'm gonna have to vote for him.


  • ok, I'm just gonna say it... I don't believe Kanye West is talented. he's the Nick Cage of music.



  • just once I'd like to use the sentence. "I drank too much at work today".


  • I'd like to start doing book reviews... but not on the words inside the book. like just review the cover art and the binding and smell of the ink and paper.


  • the fastest way to get me to look at something is title it "time travel".

  • So after much consideration I've decided to come out of the closet. I identify as a multi millionaire. I've been poor all my life but it just never felt right. I would see people like JR Euing on Dallas when I was a kid and I thought something was just off... like I should be that guy, and not the poor kid in Detroit who's parents have to share a car. so with the help of my therapist I'm going to start making the transition to a millionaire. I hope you can still accept me.



  • As much as I hate Chicago... that city has turned out some amazing punk bands over the years. its like finding a single standing building after being ravaged by war.


  • We should change the phrase "on the the right side of history" to "on the right side of public Opinion at the time".



  • In all honesty, I just did this so I could see if my log in credentials still work. Good thing Keln is so freakin lazy.

Friday, July 24, 2015

Where the Po' Folk Roam

He may be hungry, but he has a free Obama hat. 


So Obama is visiting his "home" country of Kenya. The land of his father. Also, the land of hunger with a 46% poverty rate and half of its population being children (they don't live long there). And what do we hear about Kenya, having a president whose own father is from the troubled country?

Crickets.

You might be inclined to think that such a progressive champion of the poor like Obama might have pushed his ancestral homeland as a place to feed and clothe those without, but of course you would be wrong. Because Obama is a true leftist. He doesn't look at such abject poverty as a bad thing. He looks at it as a model for what he wants western citizens to be.

Thursday, July 23, 2015

Changing the meaning of words...and how it probably makes Webster very mad. If he were alive I mean.

 Rarrww...cluck cluck cluck

We have a problem America. Or 'Merca. Or the U S of A. Or, the Fifty Oppressive White People States. Whatever you people call yourselves now.

Anyway, that problem is the mercurial nature of definitions. I mean, it's gotten really bad. Like...you can't even define a woman any more. And forget an African American. Apparently you can choose your "race" and sex all willy nilly and nature has nothing to say about it any more.

Tuesday, July 21, 2015

Saturday, July 11, 2015

Put up Your Dukes

Don't say I didn't warn you

The Blog is Saved

It's taken me a month, but I finally figured out the Google admin account thing and made the annual payment to keep the site going. Stupid Google making things complicated.

You may all now cancel your plans for the end of the world as we know it.

So if anyone else blogs and has their own domain address they got through Google a couple years ago or so, and you have to update your payment information (and since cards expire, you will eventually), let me let you in on how it's all gone down.

How Convenient

I'm a little late to the draw here (better delayed than premature, or so I've been told), but today is National Convenience Store Day.

If you head on down to any 7/11, you can get a free small Slurpee.

And if I lived in the Greater New York are, I would head on down to Michael Bloomberg's place and drink it right on his front lawn. And leave the cup there. I might even spring for a Big Gulp as well, just to show him who's boss.

And if I could find a 7/11 (There aren't many in my neck of the woods), I would (not being in the Greater New York area (is there a LESSER New York area?)) Priority Mail my empties to 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue c/o/ Michelle Obama.

If you're bored and have nothing better to do, why not stick it to the nanny staters in a small but conveniently amusing way?