Nuke the Punchline - Not Going Anywhere For a While?

Harvey over at IMAO has posted a new straight line of the day, so it is time to choose the winners of the last one:  [Note to Harvey: I DON'T SPEAK SPANISH. I debated whether to get Rosetta Stone just for this post....Just thought you should know. GEEEEEEEEZ!]

A Democrat Started Speaking Spanish on the Senate Floor. He Said…

Putting the "Dum" in "Dumocrat"

Hoo-boy.

The democRats may have more women in Congress, but judging from the likes of Patty Murray, Nancy Pelosi, Debbie Wasserman Schultz, Sheila Jackson Lee, and Maxine Waters, quantity is certainly not an indicator of quality. Or intelligence.

These women are the reason you should ALWAYS carry a towel: When you see them approaching, wrap it around your head and face, as they are so mind-bogglingly stupid, they will assume that if you can't see them, they can't see you.

Their combined IQ MIGHT reach room temperature.

I bring this up because the Senator from Louisiana, Mary Landrieu, last seen selling her deciding vote to inflict Obamacare upon us all, has decided to give us all a lesson in geography:

Orwell? Oh Well

In response to NSA intelligence leaks, Homeland Security Secretary Janet Napolitano assures us that fears of government surveillance are being sensationalized, saying, “I think people have gotten the idea that there’s an Orwellian state out there that somehow we’re operating in. That’s far from the case.”

Despite civil liberties advocates’ fears that monitoring efforts have gone too far, Napolitano says, “there are lots of protections built into the system,” pointing to a privacy office embedded in her own department that is “constantly reviewing our policies and procedures.”

A little research has yielded the agency's logo:

Happy (Founding) Father's Day!!

You know what? I'm the luckiest lady around. I get to write at a blog with some of the funniest, most intelligent, SWEET men I've ever known. I laugh and learn stuff and tease and get teased all the time. :)  I especially love the way you care about our great country and defending our liberties. I really love you guys.

Like the Founding Fathers, you guys choose to spend time fighting tyranny...or at least ridiculing it  :)  You recognize that words are powerful, and choose to use them to educate, entertain and enlarge our minds. I believe your choice to do so will affect your children - - and mine. I am so thankful for fathers like you.

A special "Happy Father's Day" to the Father of Nuking Politics: Keln. He sacrificed untold hours creating and scheming ideas for this wonderful blog. He takes care of all the technical stuff I don't understand...the finances...and he keeps the rest of us in line (and with walkingdead and Lactose around, that's a full time job! :) I know I'm not exactly the kind of co-blogger he envisioned, but I'm so thankful he gave me a chance. Because of him, I get to work with awesome fathers like him, walkingdead, Hunter, Lactose, Arik, Les, Springeraz, and Harvey. I think your baby, Nuking Politics, is a very good thing. Thanks, Keln.

Happy Father's Day to all of my sweet dwarves!!!!! :)

Sacred Ground

Anybody hear Nancy Pelosi say, as a "practicing and respectful Catholic," that late-term abortion is, to her, "Sacred Ground?"

I couldn't believe it. Does she really think that late-term abortion is compatible with Catholic doctrine? Can this woman, the most politically powerful woman in the history of the country, really be that mindbogglingly stupid?

Yes. Yes she can.

I researched a little and found a few other interesting things that Nancy Dearest thinks are compatible with Catholic doctrine.

• Free contraceptives for everyone
• Sleeping through mass
• Gargling with Communion wine

Fear and Unbalanced

With a dash of loathing.

In a recent interview with NBC, Attorney General Eric Holder said a better balance needs to be struck between freedom of the press and safeguarding national secrets.

In his words:

Nuke the Punchline - Conversation Piece

Harvey over at IMAO has posted a new straight line of the day, so it is time to choose the winners of the last one:

A California School Is Holding a Toy Gun Buyback. You Should Also Turn In…

Punishing His Enemies

In October, 2010, Obama promised he would "punish our enemies" after the mid term elections.  By enemies, he was not talking about people who were a threat to the nation he swore to protect, he was referring to anyone in this country who didn't side with him politically.  There didn't seem to be that much reaction to the fact that the man the nation had elected to lead us all considered half of us to be enemies.

Nuke the Punchline - Pull that Ace

Harvey over at IMAO has posted a new straight line of the day, so it is time to choose the winners of the last one:

To Avoid Being Spied on by the Government, Experts Recommend…

Nuke the Punchline - The BARE Necessities

Harvey over at IMAO has a new straight line of the day up, so it is time to choose the winners of the last one:

A Russian Woman Volunteered to Go on a One-Way Trip to Mars. Also Going…

Nuke the Punchline - Shhhhhhh! It's Classified!

Harvey over at IMAO has a new straight line of the day up, so it is time to choose the winners of the last one:

Caffeine Withdrawal Has Been Classified as a Mental Disorder. Next to Be So Classified…

Jacob's First Blog

Hi.  My name is Jacob, and I'm three and a half.  Mom and Dad said I could spend this weekend with Grandma and Grandpa.  It's fun to stay here, we do stuff and I play catch with Grandpa's dogs.  My Grandpa Springer said if I was good I could write a blog. 

Nuke the Punchline - Old News

Harvey over at IMAO has a new straight line of the day up, so it is time to choose the winners of the last one:

Jay Carney Admitted He Has a Secret Email Address. It’s…

Biggest Liar in the World

 Well here's a brand new contest we can all take a shot at.  It's called:  "The Most Shameless Liar in the Whole Wide World.  Since We Evolved Lips".  Sadly, I was going to nominate someone, but the best I can come up with is a six way tie.  Maybe you'd like to vote for one of these, or nominate your own candidate, and why you think they're qualified.  Lots of cookies for the winner.  Actually, we can nominate as many as we want, and we can install them all as charter members.  Okay, probably, possibly, no cookies.  I merely misspoke about that part.  Actually, we're reviewing that.  And there's this ongoing investigation.  And I just heard about it on Drudge. 

Obama Scandal Excuse Flowchart

(click for full size)

Where are the Snowdens of Yesteryear?

Ladies and Gentlemen, we live in a house divided.

I think it is pretty clear at this point that the (whether-duly-elected-or-not) actual in-fact current President of these United States is a traitor who has conspired and collaborated with America's enemies - namely but not limited to Al-Qaeda, because we're talking both "foreign" and "domestic" enemies here.

This is a bit bigger than First Lieutenant Milo Minderbinder bombing his own squadron at Pianosa (if you haven't heard about that, don't worry - you didn't miss a memo, you missed a fantastic book and/or a fine movie), and that it is entirely possible our laws are not up to the task of solving this problem.

It has been said before, by people far wiser than me, that our country can survive anything but treason - and various smart guys (and likely gals too) have been saying this from our very founding.

So what's next?

Nuke the Punchline - Because of Them, We are Rich

Harvey over at IMAO has a new straight line of the day up, so it is time to choose the winners of the last one:

It’s June 6th. How should you commemorate the anniversary of D-Day?

Question Of The Day

I've been getting a lot of lefty's asking my why this was all OK when Bush did it.  I don't have an answer for them other than I was wrong.

The funny thing is when I ask them why its OK that Obama is doing it, none of them have an answer for him at all.

So you need to ask yourself; Are you going to admit you were wrong,  or are you going to cary the water?

I'm ok with admitting I was wrong.

Hear, Hear, Silent Cal

"Perhaps one of the most important accomplishments of my administration has been minding my own business. Government shouldn't play a part in everyday life. Jefferson said that the people should be left to manage their own affairs. His opposition will bear careful analysis, and the country could stand a good deal more of its application. The trouble with us is we talk about Jefferson, but we do not follow him. In this theory that the people should manage their government, and not be managed by it, he was everlastingly right." 

– Calvin Coolidge

Computer Virus Alert: Obamavirus

With all the scandals going around about the government snooping on private citizens, I suppose it was only a matter of time, but apparently the NSA has unleashed a new computer virus that is designed not to snoop on the content of what people post, but to actually EDIT it to a more acceptable form. This occurs whenever someone tries to say something negative about the president and the Democrat Party.

For example, if I try to type in "President Obama is a great guy," the virus will edit it to say "President Obama is a great guy."

If I try to say "President Obama loves puppies and children," it will come out as "President Obama loves puppies and children."

An attempt to call the Democrat Party the "Party of Peace and Love" results in the text being edited to call the Democrat Party the "Party of Peace and Love."

Personally, I think these incredibly smart people should be elected for life and then worshipped like the human deities they clearly are.

Update: It would appear that my computer has already been infected. I will try to find some anti-virus program that will get rid of it and keep you informed. Bless you, Barack Obama!