Friday, October 31, 2014

How to Choose a Costume, Wisconsin Style

1. Leave the house before six a.m. Start feeling like Han Solo because the view out of the windshield looks like this:


2. Wish you had dressed like Chewbacca.

3. If you have to go outside, you could be Dorothy Gale,

 

4. Or if you're stuck inside, you could be Dorothy Gale.


5. As you watch tree limbs, your garbage cans and several small children blow by, decide you really don't want to go out tonight. Instead, choose to dress like a hermit:

Nuke the Punchline - Gimme Gimme Gimme

*The title is the Democrat's new Halloween chant. It replaces "Trick-or-Treat".

Harvey over at IMAO has posted a fun new straight line for Halloween. You should go check it out! My favorites from the last one are :

Nancy Pelosi Said People Should Vote Democrat Next Week Because…

"I'll Get You, My Pretty!"
[What she said to ME]

Get Off My Lawn, DOE

What’s the first thing that comes to mind when you think of Halloween? That’s right, kids — the Department of Energy.

Yes, the DOE wants to do for All Hallows’ Eve what Michelle Obama did for school lunches. Your tax dollars are going toward creating lame, green energy-themed designs for some unspecified niche demographic to carve into pumpkins. 

The department does know how to recycle; it seems they’ve reused the same patterns they posted a couple of years ago, including a CFL bulb, a biomassey-leafy-recycley type symbol, a wind turbine, and a solar energy symbol.   

Booooring!

My cat probably could have come up with more inspired designs, and in fact, she provided some assistance as I concocted these non-government-approved patterns, illustrated below. But be warned, these are very scary, and not meant to be contemplated by the faint of brain.

Thursday, October 30, 2014

Mr. Kerry: "My Job Is Just Really Hard"

At the Aspen Institute's "Washington Ideas Forum", John Kerry said:  "…The cold war was easy compared to where we are today".  He says the "complexity of the world today" (read: "chaos") makes things much harder.   He made no mention of this administration's role in creating that chaos. 

If it's fair to say that the Cold War was "easier" than the situation we find ourselves in now, it might also be fair to ask: "why?".  Here are three main reasons why, Mr. Kerry: 

1.  We had actual leaders in charge who never heard of "leading from behind".  They took the Constitution and their oath of office seriously, and they made decisions based on what served American interests best.  They understood that they worked for the People.  They had backbone.  (Okay, there was Jimmy Carter, but hey…)  They projected competence, and when they drew a "red line", everybody knew they meant it.  They knew who our friends were, and they knew who our enemies were, and they acted accordingly.
.
2.  They weren't afraid to let the military do their job.  They understood the need for a strong military, and they made sure ours was well funded, well trained and well equipped, and when the time came for the military to act, they listened to the Generals.  There is a reason we have a civilian Commander In Chief, but anyone who is worthy of the title knows when to get out of the way and let the military do what it does.  (LBJ's handling of Viet Nam proves my point).  And they never would have dreamed of treating the military as some sort of social experiment.  

3.  They didn't walk around with a long face.



Bonus Reason:

They took care of real problems instead of trying to distract everyone with a lot of crap about how global warming is the biggest threat facing mankind.

Cross Posted @ springer's blog.

Nuke the Punchline - We've Got it Under Control

Harvey over at IMAO has posted a new straight line of the day, I believe. You should go check and make sure. My favorites from the last one are :

A New Government Study Shows That the Only Way to Kill Ebola…

(Source)

Wednesday, October 29, 2014

When The Mojo Stops Working

Mr. Obama has not been getting much attention from audiences lately.  Contrast the rapture on the faces of his fans when he first came to national attention with the tone at events today.  Once again, at a rally in Virginia, and earlier in Massachusetts at a rally for the Dem gubernatorial race, the audience showed Mr. Obama their displeasure by walking out.  The whole mystical mojo thing seems to be wearing thin with his "base".  Most of us were on to him in 2008, and it looks like his base may be catching on.  The only one who'll never get it is him.

The faithful from every corner of his empire show signs of coming to terms with the reality behind the man they elected twice.

Nuke the Punchline - It Means No Harm

Harvey over at IMAO has posted a new straight line of the day, I believe. You should go check and make sure. My favorites from the last one are :

President Obama Issued a New Ebola Protocol…


Tuesday, October 28, 2014

Nuke the Punchline - Swank Supremacy

Harvey over at IMAO has posted a new straight line of the day, I believe. You should go check and make sure. My favorites from the last one are :

Queen Elizabeth Joined Twitter. Her First Tweet…

Source

Monday, October 27, 2014

Nuke the Punchline - 600 Death Penalties

Harvey over at IMAO has posted a new straight line of the day, and it's straight line number 600! You should go leave your best punchline and congratulate Harvey for an amazing *600* fun lines. Go ahead and make his day! :)

600 Cookies to Harvey!
My favorites from the last one are :

Instead of an Appearance by Obama, What Would Most Democrats Prefer at Their Campaign Rallies?

Where’s Somebody With a Shoe When You Need ‘Em?*

At a rally in Boston for gubernatorial candidate Martha Coakley, Hillary Clinton, presumed by many to eventually be the front-running Democratic candidate for president in 2016, actually said, “Don't let anybody tell you that it’s corporations and businesses that create jobs.”

Well, okay then.

 

Sunday, October 26, 2014

Pose Before Prose

Chrissy Teigen, best known for displaying her assets in a popular sports magazine, has disappointed more than a half-million followers who wish to peruse the most pithy palaver a supermodel can produce, by quitting Twitter a day after posting this:


In an attempt to assuage a cascade of outrage over the post, which could have been penned by a certain “documentary” filmmaker whose image has (to the relief of the universe) never graced the Swimsuit issue cover of Sports Illustrated, Teigen tweeted, “Sorry you don't understand that is a knock at america and our issues with gun control. No one is minimizing the Ottawa shooting.”

Friday, October 24, 2014

Electrons Make TIE Fighters

Pew Pew Pew....Bwoooosh!
I attempted to do two things today. Both of them probably futile, but I had hope for one of the things and still did the other even if I knew better. The two things I speak of are explaining the atomic structure to some kids and explaining why government controlling various aspects of your life, such as healthcare or dental work, is bad to some leftists.

I know, the kids might have had a chance, but the progs were way over their heads in trying to understand such a concept. That's what I thought anyway.

Nuke the Punchline - Persuasive Presentation

Harvey over at IMAO has posted a new straight line of the day, I believe. You should go check and make sure. My favorites from the last one are :

Hillary Clinton Raked in a Record $2.1 Million in One Fundraiser. How Did She Do It?


Something Scary For Halloween

It's that time of year again...ghosts, goblins, zombie hordes, the boogeyman, shadows that move across the room at night when you're home alone, all pretty scary.  But when it comes to weird and creepy, none of them can hold a candle to the people shown below.

Unlike ghosts, these people actually exist, but paradoxically, their stated beliefs are based totally on fiction.  No amount of reasoning can penetrate their fantasies, because, you see, they know what is best for the rest of us.  They also know, in the dark corners of their minds, that the causes they espouse are fictions.

Thursday, October 23, 2014

Nuke the Punchline - Feeling Feverish

Harvey over at IMAO has posted a new straight line of the day, I believe. You should go check and make sure. My favorites from the last one are :

Ron Klain’s First Job As the New Ebola Czar…

Source

#Caring

Liberals really irk me.

Over the past few weeks, I keep seeing bull snot on Facebook, garbage on Twitter, the news is full of idiocy and it really makes me want to scream and let it all out and just rant, Rant, RANT!

Very often, it's these liberal fools with their "Conservatives Don't Care" meme that apparently gives them the dual pleasure of ripping on Republicans while simultaneously letting everyone know that they're MUCH better than those nasty other guys, because they, you know, care so much more than anyone else.

Enough, apparently to spare no expense of other people's money to battle the enemies they deem worthy of fighting.

You know, like the appalling lack of free birth control for every girl over the age of three.

Al Steps Up

Al Sharpton teams up with Obama to select a new Attorney General.  It's a match made in Heaven.  (A followup to "Obama and Sharpton...What Can Go Wrong?)



Wednesday, October 22, 2014

Argument Clinic

Liberals are fond of pointing out that the Marxist idea "From each according to his ability, to each according to his need," has some parallel in the Bible, particularly in The Acts of the Apostles, then try to advance this as some sort of "Christian" thought.


I like to point out to them that 2 Thessalonians tells us, essentially, "You don't work, you don't eat."


And voting for someone who will give you "free" stuff is not exactly a full time occupation.


Plus, I'd be more than welcome to live under the prior maxim if it were administered by Jesus Christ, Himself, rather than the dimwits we keep ending up with in Washington.


How many liberals do you think would be willing to make THAT concession?

Nuke the Punchline - It's Quittin' Time

Harvey over at IMAO has posted a new straight line of the day, I believe. You should go check and make sure. My favorites from the last one are :

During a Speech, the Audience Started Walking Out on Obama Because…

(Picture Source)

Tuesday, October 21, 2014

Nuke the Punchline - His Criteria is so RACIST

Harvey over at IMAO has posted a new straight line of the day, I believe. You should go check and make sure. My favorites from the last one are :

Under Obama’s New Immigration Plan, You Can Only Get Deported…

If you won't fit in a voting booth