Wednesday, April 23, 2014

Obamacare: We Speak YOUR Language

Received this in the mail today trying to convince me to sign up for Obamacare. It helpfully pointed out "Open enrollment for the Marketplace ends on March 31, 2014, so confirm your information and choose a health plan before then." My letter was dated April 2. Huh. But when I saw the last page, I was outraged. OUTRAGED, I tell you. Obamacare is CLEARLY discriminatory. It says that if you have questions, like mine: "When can I expect delivery of the time machine?" you can only get help in these languages:

But wait! There's more!

Bad Government, Bad Shakespeare

Today is the 450th anniversary of William Shakespeare's birth, April 23, 1564, and the 398th anniversary of his death, on April 23, 1616.

He may be the most quoted person in the history of the English language, but if he were somehow magically transported here today, and took a look at what the present administration is doing to this country, he might be tempted to quote himself, saying something like:
"Hell is empty and all the devils are here".
I gave some thought to the idea of having a "Bad Shakespeare" contest, but I decided that my own effort (next page) was quite enough blasphemy for one blog post. 

Still, if you like, feel free to take a stab at it, (graphics, cartoons, text), anything you like.  No rules, just have fun with it.  I'd love to see what you come up with.  And, if you like, take a look at this site: "The Shakespeare Insult Kit",  here.  Who would have ever guessed that The Bard was working off a cheat sheet.

Monday, April 21, 2014

Like I needed another headache...

I encourage you all to take just a moment or two to step away from politics, take a deep breath, and contemplate the awe-inspiring, persistent, inescapable weirdness that is our Universe. Of course, since "contemplating the Universe" not only sounds WAY TOO HIPPIE, but is also mathematically impossible, I offer by way of substitute this interesting comparison between some Earthly features with those on Mars.

Thursday, April 17, 2014

Harry Can't Figure It Out

Harry can't understand what all the commotion is about.  All those people showed up all agitated and everything, and made him send his BLM boys back home.  He just can't figure it out, but he'll come up with something...

Wednesday, April 16, 2014

When Liberals Dream

Liberals apparently live in a dream world where the nature of things is formed, not by reality or experience, but by their wishes, by their fantasies.  The statists elected by these people encourage those fantasies.  They talk about things like "fairness" and foster the belief that, no matter what the problem is, the State is the answer.  They have sold liberals the idea that personal liberty, the right to direct your own fortunes, is the cause of the problems, and the only solution is obeisance to the State.  It's a lie that gets more and more convoluted as it continually bumps into reality.  It's all carefully constructed to obscure their real purpose, which is, of course, complete control.  

Liberals ignore the dissonance, and dream on.

Monday, April 14, 2014

War Breaks Out in Georgia!

(WTH)ATLANTA - War broke out unexpectedly last night in Georgia during an Atlanta Braves game. The Braves were at bat with two out in the bottom of the fifth when suddenly rockets went up over the right field wall, setting alight the American Flag. As the horrified crowd ran for cover, the flag turned to ashes.


Details are still sketchy as to who exactly Georgia is at war with, but Congressman Hank Johnson (D-GA), in whose district the attack took place, was quick to release a statement. 
"I think we all will recall when Bush let Putin invade Georgia in 2008. Now, the Russians didn't make it quite this far back then, but what with them looking to take over Ukraine, we figure it's only a matter of time until he gets to us."
At a press conference, President Obama was quick to downplay a possible Russian invasion:

"Current intelligence is indicating this is not a Russian invas...uncontested entry. According to my National Security Advisor, this is most likely the result of either right-wing extremists or a really mean video on YouTube. Either way, we won't rest until we've brought the perpetrators to justice, or the public gets bored. Probably the latter.
Oddly, no one seems to have been hurt in the fighting, nor can anyone actually recall shots being fired, but Senator Dianne Feinstein (D-CA) was quick to call for a ban on assault rifles.
"I think we need to find out what sort of weapons were or were not used in this attack and ban them all. It was probably assault rifles. It's always assault rifles. Assault rifles are scary.
Braves management could not be reached for comment.


Sunday, April 13, 2014

Happy Passover!

Tomorrow at sunset marks the first day of Passover. I would like to wish all those of you who celebrate the holiday a happy celebration.

I thought I would mark the occasion with the only Passover song I know:


How many of those headbangers do you figure realize they're thrashing to a Bible story? Note: I switched videos when I noticed a couple, um, mf-bombs in the other one. *Blushes* Sorry!

Thursday, April 10, 2014

Where Does He Keep Them All?

Yesterday Mr. Obama asked Congress for 1.1 Billion for gun control.  Who would have guessed that having our rights taken away from us would cost us this much of our own money?   Good luck with that, Mr. O.  But it's anybody's guess what he'll really do with the cash.  

Meanwhile, The Washington Post just gave Obama 2 more Pinocchios for lying about women's wages.  I guess he's desperate, once again, to come up with something shiny to distract us, this time from the ongoing Obamacare catastrophe and from Mr. Holder's performance yesterday in front of Congress.  

The only thing he appears to be any good at is lying, so it naturally follows that he would end up with a giant stash of Pinocchios.  But how many does he think he needs?  And where does he keep them all?

Wednesday, April 9, 2014

$Trillions on a Roll of the Dice

When “Let’s use bad science and anti-math to justify our blowing the economy of the entire planet to try to control an average global temperature swing that’s far, far, FAR smaller than pretty much any place experiences on any given day” becomes the best cover story Leftists can come up with for their real agenda of “Let’s grab all the power we can, and redistribute more wealth than may arguably be in existence to ourselves, our cronies, and the blocks of voters we can thereby guarantee will vote for use in perpetuity”, and still get away with it, then our country is in dire straits indeed. 


Tuesday, April 8, 2014

I Can't Deal With It...I'm Going Fishing

I sat down here to write a response to a statement Jeb Bush made to the effect that illegal aliens breaking into the country is "an act of love".  I was having trouble getting my mind around a statement as stupid as that, then I was distracted by a couple of other things:  Eric Holder thinks it would be a good idea to make gun owners wear RFID bracelets, and Iran is sending a new Ambassador to the UN, who just happens to be one of the terrorists that held over 50 Americans hostage for over a year, with no apparent objection by the WH or State Dept.  This kind of thing has become the new normal in Washington.  Meanwhile, Mr. Obama spends time planning his next vacation in Martha's Vineyard, and obsessing about "selfies" in the White House.  And finally, I saw this quote from John Kerry.  He said:  
"The United States and it's allies will not hesitate to use 21st century tools to hold Russia accountable for it's 19th century behavior."  
Mr Kerry obviously can't see that he is one of the biggest tools on the planet.

Suddenly my head exploded.  I decided to shift gears and write about something else altogether.  Here it is.

Monday, April 7, 2014

His Brother's Keeper

I still find it amazing that Obama thinks the story of Cain and Abel suggests that we should be Our Brothers' Keepers. He even started an initiative by that name. I just think the Biblical imperative is an individual call to charity, not a call for the state to collectivize the process.


Sunday, April 6, 2014

Noah Countability

There seems to be much criticism of Darren Aronofsky’s movie “Noah” from anybody who has read, or even heard of the Old Testament. It has been condemned on many fronts — not the least of which is its heavy-handed promotion of radical environmentalism. I mean, did they really have to invent an “Algorizeth” character who puts everybody to sleep by droning on while showing them armloads of boring scrolls?    

To be honest, I have not seen the “biblically-inspired” fantasy film, but I understand that in some respects it has been compared favorably to such modern historical epics as “Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen,” and the 2003 live action adaptation of “The Cat in the Hat.” Come to think of it, I haven’t watched those movies, either. Some say that I’ve missed out. And by “some,” I mean my 6-year-old grandson, whom I have actually seen deliberately, repeatedly touch a live electric fence.

In any case, I’m withholding judgment on the film until I see it, which I may get around to, if I happen to live as long as Methuselah. Still, I can’t help but be a little suspicious of its attempt to reflect any semblance to scriptural narrative when I see teaser posters like this: 

Saturday, April 5, 2014

Check Out This New Show!

So, I found this new show on TV, about a gang of criminals who ride around creating terror and wreaking havoc in order to live life their own way. By tearing down the system, they impose their own brand of order and injustice on the world. Their grasp on reality is tenuous at best, and they will never tell the truth when a lie will serve.

It's pretty entertaining, but kind of scary, too.

It's called: Sons of Perdition, and it's on C-Span, New episodes Fridays at 8.

They're Nearby, They Love to Lie, Get Used To It.

Tuesday, April 1, 2014

The Buffoon Chronicles, Number 1

So here's this assistant professor of philosophy at the Rochester Institute, let's call him Buffoon #1, who says that anyone who does not agree with the notion that man-made global warming is going to kill us all should be put in prison.  

Apparently if you don't believe every word spoken about the matter by Al Gore and his stooges,  you need to be thrown in the slammer along with all the other criminals.   

Now we have this other guy, (Buffoon #2), known as Holder Trumbo, a Republican no less, who is a County Supervisor in Fauquier County, Virginia.  In an ongoing dispute about property rights, he says that  conservative bloggers who do not live in his county have no right to voice an opinion about the matter.

Mark Fitzgibbons piece on American Thinker has this to say about Mr. Trumbo:
Conservative critics of government are “freaks,” are “in for a pretty rough ride,” and "will need their kevlar"  i.e., bullet-proof vests.
These statements didn’t come from the Obama administration or some radical leftwing organization.  They are Facebook posts of a Republican elected official in Virginia’s Fauquier County.
Fauquier drew national attention in 2012 for charging farmer Martha Boneta with violating the law by having a birthday party for eight little girls without a permit and zoning site plan.
Note to Buffoon #2:  They didn't need kevlar at Concord or Lexington, or Bunker Hill, but they managed to do what they had to do.   We won't need it either sir.

Monday, March 31, 2014

I'll Never Leave (DRAFT Video)

In the spirit of collaboration, which sounds a lot better than "looking for almost any route out of a dark creative labyrinth", I've decided to post a "no visuals" DRAFT of a video I'm working on.

"What's that?" You say, "A no visuals video?"

I Really Can't Tell - Part 3

It is a well known "FACT!" that the OFA - and leftists in general - make full use of the ancient maxim "get 'em while they're young".  What isn't quite so well known is that OFA "Community Organizers" graduate from their extensive training regimen prior to their third birthday (in actual verifiable fact, their trainee uniforms are only available in sizes up to 24 months), after which all political and moral development typically ceases altogether.

Nuke the Punchline - What's in a Name?

Harvey over at IMAO has posted a new straight line of the day, which means nothing, because I rarely have time to notice. ;)  But lucky for you,  I liked the last one and I've been baking :

Overheard during Obama’s meeting with the Pope…



All in one Magazine?
Must be BH&G IMAO Edition

But they forgot THIS one...

Sunday, March 30, 2014

Re: I Really Can't Tell - Part 2

Hunter's mystery solved.

I've discovered a prototype of a T-shirt apparently intended for one of the first lady's rejected health initiatives.

Why can't the government just keep its hands off our bodies?

I Really Can't Tell - Part 2

I considered complaining about how using "left-justification" on this T-Shirt's text just made it look awkward, then thought "No... this is appropriate, and may even have been intentional."

Think about it... These are "leftists" we're talking about, so "left-justified" might be some sort of walking pun for them. Also, their slacker audience feels awkward all the time, so they probably decided to capitalize (AAAAHHHH!!!! DON'T USE THAT WORD!!!!!) on this trend rather than hide it behind the thin veneer of using attractive models.

No, the one thing I really don't get - and I guess this is more of a "casting director" kind of query - is "Why in the name of all that's politically expedient, would you use as a T-Shirt model a man who (I guess?) has a tattoo of intestines on his arm???"