Wednesday, February 14, 2018

Valentines Day Fun - Princess Bride Edition

Last year, if you recall, I was 500 miles from my wife, in the harsh, unforgiving land known as Wisconsin. So, to have a little fun, I made a few Valentines, like when we were kids, except when we were kids, they never made Valentines from Silence of the Lambs stills. This year, I went a bit lighter, and made a handful from a much lighter movie.

Again, if you haven't seen it, WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU!?!?!?!? Rob Reiner may be a liberal turd sabdwich, but he's made some outstanding movies that are highly watchable, and easy to relate to. Make the effort.

Then watch This is Spinal Tap.

Anyway, here are this year's batch:

Thursday, January 25, 2018

I Love California

Anyway, I this week, I got a free, all-expenses paid trip to sunny Southern California, courtesy of my employer, which for some unholy reason is headquartered here. It's free, just not really a lot of time for sightseeing when the sun goes down just about the time my training class lets out. And given how expensive everything is, not really worth the effort. I mean, gas is a dollar a gallon more than the already inflated prices in Michigan.

And, really, it's full of really stupid people. I mean, this is a state that downgraded to a misdemeanor from a felony, the KNOWING TRANSMISSION OF HIV. Let that sink in for a second: In this state, it's considered worse for a waiter to give a straw to someone who didn't ask for it than it is to give someone an incurable disease that can only be held in check by massive amounts of expensive medication.

Add to that the idea that they consider themselves a "Sanctuary State," that doesn't have to follow federal immigration law, and you've got the makings of a liberal paradise, which is to say, a hellhole. Funny how the Tenth Amendment is suddenly all the rage, now that Odumbo is out of office, and not forcing us to buy things we can't afford and that don't do a darn thing for us anyway. Yeah, I'm one of those who lost my plan and got a much more expensive plan that covers essentially nothing to replace it. If I ever have the displeasure of meeting the man-child, I will consider it a victory if I can restrain myself from spitting in his face.

Of course, once you get away from the coast, it's a completely different story, the interior is largely conservative, and are actually trying to split into a separate state, which is forbidden by the Constitution, but has the precedent of the creation of West Virginia, and seriously, what do leftists care about the Constitution, anyway?

I say we carve off the part of the state from a line twenty miles west of the I-5 corridor, all the way up up Sacramento, then draw a line to the coast. All that area can be the Republic of Commiefornia, and the rest can stay with the U.S.

The only exceptions will be the Sacramento Delta, which we will keep to irrigate the Central Valley, where so much food is produced, and allowing us to kill off them darn Delta Smelts once and for all, and San Diego, which will continue to be a military base, much like Guantanamo Bay Naval Station in Cuba. Let it be a thorn in their side for all eternity.

You know what really got me off on this little angry outburst? This is a state where every thing is "Fitness This, Fitness That, Conserve This, Conserve That." Well, there are five empty parking places right next to the hotel entrance reserved for "electric cars only," while the rest of the parking lot is full. Not that I'm looking to park a vehicle. My company has a whole fleet of cars here with reserved spaces for just such a purpose. And we use them. It's just all the High and Mighty Rhetoric that ends up being hollow and just so much hot air.

And the worst thing for me is, I like to take my exercise in the form of a nice walk around town,. Well, the geniuses in charge of sidewalks and streets around here haven't the first clue what they're doing. My hotel is on a two lane street with a suicide lane in the middle. Each lane is big enough for two mid-sized cars to travel comfortably side-by-side. You know what's not there? SIDEWALKS.

There are sidewalks at the bottom of the hill, though they sort of stop and start without any warning, and there are crosswalks at places where there are no sidewalks, no crosswalks where there are, and my favorite, crosswalks across the two-lane entrance ramps onto the eight-lane freeway that is a an exit off of the 45 MPH six lane road that I'm trying to walk beside.

There are signs warning off crosswalks, signs saying to stop for pedestrians in crosswalks, but no "Walk/Don't Walk" lights. You know who in California stops for pedestrians in the crosswalks? NO ONE.

Walking, driving, EXISTING in Southern California is stress. The traffic on the highway half an hour ago was still stop-and-go from rush hour. Quarter to Eight.

I will really be glad to get out of here. The best part of the whole trip was lunch at the Salt Lake City airport. I'd have rather stayed there, It reminded me a lot of Alaska. But, I did get to knock one more state off the list: 9 more to go, or 16 if you count all 57.

Anyway, I don't promise to write more often, but I do promise to make the effort.

Hope your day/evening/night were better than mine.

Thursday, November 2, 2017

A Way to Drive Yourself Crazy

So, I have a friend from college who was something of a man-whore back in the day. He was rather promiscuous, and, shall we say, not of particularly discriminating taste.

Well, I've known him for almost thirty years, been out on choir tour with him, and basically know that he's a pretty good guy, on balance.

Given the recent #MeToo craze going around, in which women of all sorts are hashtag-signalling that they've been raped, sexually-assaulted, harassed, discriminated against, treated rudely at Pizza Hut, etc, and the recent allegations coming out of Hollywood, some of them decades old, he's a bit concerned. He doesn't want to think that he caused someone pain, that what he did during his college years was not causing pain years later to someone.

That led to him posting a thing on Facebook wondering about his friends' opinions on allegations that are decades old, which led to me finding a new way to drive myself crazy.

I merely referenced a mock "Sexual Harassment" court that had taken place while we were in school together. Most of us there at the time thought it was a joke. Their female student cried, "He harassed me!" The male student said, "No, I didn't," and the "Moderator" cried, "Off with his head!" (Not really, but the guy got mock-expelled on the evidence of "She-said."

I told him that the standards that had seemed ridiculous at the time were now commonplace on college campuses, even though they are still ridiculous, and that perhaps standards should be reformed to make rape a serious crime again, and not just some bimbo with morning-after regrets, as that is the current definition on college campuses. (Don't believe me? Ask Hillary "All victims deserve to be believed, except my husband's victims, who must be destroyed" Clinton.)

Which, of course, means that I am a rapist.

Wait, what?

Seriously, some "Progressive Feminist" decided that because I wanted some objective standard for what "Too impaired to consent" means, I must have "raped" thousands of women.

And me, like an idiot, tried to have a rational conversation with her.

This is how to drive yourself crazy.

Arguing with a "Progressive Feminist" is a bit like arguing with a Chatty Cathy doll: You pull the string and the same mindless platitudes pour out of each and every one. If you break your "Progressive Feminist," you can return it for another one that will say the exact same things with the exact same lack of critical thought.

Actually, my favorite was a few weeks ago, when I dared mention that I refuse to take moral advice on "Firearms Control" from someone who sees killing babies as a "choice." One said, I kid you not, "You are not a woman - it's not your decision or judgement to make."

I replied with my standard, "You are not an unplanned, unwanted baby. Your opinion means less than nothing."

Which of course got me "Unfriended." And when I noted that on the thread, she called me a "Narrow-minded Ass." So I noted she was a bigoted fascist, and congratulated her on being what she claimed to hate.

No response to that, and no loss. I have at least another dozen Facebook "friends" whose picture and name could be cut and pasted at the top of each of her posts, and no one would know the difference.

I need better friends...

So, in conclusion, just note: Never argue with a a "Progressive Feminist" unless you want to be accused of all sorts of crimes against humanity and driven to the brink of insanity.

Oh, and rape is bad. Don't rape people. I hereby disavow rape.

This country is so screwed.

Monday, October 16, 2017

An Open Letter on an Anniversary

I feel the need to write an open letter. It's not going to be pretty. There might be a bit of language in it (Not too bad: I don't mostly do that anymore). My voices are giving me the Bee, lose the sting keep the itch, as once, and though I sort of censored the worst one at the end, I need at least a hint. For impact. It's not going to be funny. I'm still having a bit of problems with funny nowadays: Seems the left has moved beyond parody. It might be caustic and sear a little close to the bone for some. But it's something I need to say, and in saying, might help someone else in similar circumstances. So here goes...

Dear Bitch,

Today is the Anniversary of the day we parted ways. It was the day I lost a best friend.

But you weren't really a friend at all, were you? You tore me to pieces, wrecked my family, and made a total mess of my life, didn't you? You whispered sweet words in my ears: Come to me, I'll make it better, make everything right, make the pain go away.

But the pain didn't know away, did it? It just hid under the surface, my consciousness numbed, my senses dulled, my consciousness clouded. You tricked me with Visions of Paradise, didn't you? You promised me Heaven and put me through Hell.

You roared through my existence like a hurricane through New Orleans: Ripping through leaving a path of death and destruction, then moving on without even a second thought. Didn't you?

In the aftermath, I shook constantly for days. I felt like I was dying,, and desperately wished I were.

It was a week before I was any semblance of together, and even that was mostly a fa├žade: I thought about you constantly. How could I live without you? How could I face a life where you were absent every single second of every single day?

And yet, I persevered.

I went to meetings, through counseling, every day was a struggle. I wished myself as dead physically as I felt spiritually. I hurt with every single fiber of my being.

And yet, I'm still here, and you don't mean a damned thing to me. You hold no temptation or attraction for me.

It was close at times, but it's over, and I'm thrilled. I wouldn't take you back if you begged: I don't hear your voice calling to me, anymore.

The closest I got was four years ago. I lost a sister who was very dear to me. It was sudden, brutal and final. And it happened on this very day, of all days.

I remember thinking about you then, hearing your voice. I remember thinking that with the twenty dollar bill in my pocket, and a handful of sleeping pills, you and I could make the pain go away, at least for a few hours.

But the pain would still be there, wouldn't it? Your promises are false: The words you whispered to me were lies, weren't they?

The pain would spread to my family, to my kids, even to my damn dog. Emotional pain is like energy: It never goes away. It just moves from person to person, spreading misery to all those it touches. And my biggest problem was I thought I could bear the weight, so long as you were there to bear it with me.

But I was wrong.

It's been twelve years now, you Bitch Goddess: I don't care what name or form you give yourself. Vodka, Whiskey, Wine, Cheap 40oz. bottles of skunky beer. I am done with you.

I still have pain in my life. I still suffer sometimes.

But I can do without you. I barely think about you now. I have other things to think about, other activities to occupy my time.

I don't need you.

I don't want you.

I barely think of you anymore.

And with the help of my Higher Power, Jesus Christ and his army, I never need be bothered with your presence again.

F#$% You.

SOBERLY (for 12 years as of today),


Monday, August 7, 2017

BREAKING: It's Not Happening. And When it Does, You Won't Need Someone Telling You it is

I'm starting to see widespread "happening" fatigue around on MAGA-friendly corners of the Internet and social media. The constant barrage of "It's Happening!", followed by nothing really major happening as a result is taking its toll on people's psyche. They're getting frustrated and angry, and that can lead to bitterness and even waning support for the man we memed into office.

It's all by design of course. No, not all "it's happening!" announcements are planted by some nefarious entity bent on destroying our unwavering support of MAGA. In fact most are by good people who want what we all want: a better, stronger, greater America and justice for all of the crimes committed against the People for decades.

What the "nefarious entities" out there are actually doing is stirring the pot. They use sensationalist headlines and make grandiose pronouncements and predictions that get people excited that finally, finally we will see justice. And then nothing happens and folks feel let down. The problem there is that nobody actually let you down in the first place. At least not anyone who had the power to do something.

Saturday, August 5, 2017

Stand Up to the Compliance Alliance

March for Science!!1! posted this “friendly reminder” recently on a social media site.

Wow! Thanks for the edjumacation — or would that be conflation?

Let’s suss this out.

1. Yes, obviously. Proven about 2,000 years ago.

2. Yes, obviously. Several diseases have been controlled or eliminated by their use.

3. Yes, obviously. Even if the technology had been available to simulate such an event, with the huge number of people involved, such a conspiracy could not be maintained for long.

4. Yes, obviously, for essentially the same reason as in #3 above. And contrails, which linger for varying periods of time, are caused by the deadly chemical dihydrogen monoxide.

5. Yes, of course. By its very nature, climate changes. But the claims that a global rise in temperature of about 0.6 degrees Celsius over the past 60 years is unprecedented; that it is primarily caused by human activity; that such activity has led to, or will lead to catastrophic changes or extremes in climate; that such changes are, or will be accelerating; and that immediate, drastic, and costly action must be taken to alleviate it, are disputed by many scientists and others who objectively look at the data.

Implying that those who don’t buy into a particular popular assumption (that is unanimously promoted by those whose incomes are dependent on it being an issue) are ignorant “science deniers” or shills for the fossil fuel industry smacks of agendaism, intellectual snobbery, and the very narrow-mindedness of which those typically pushing alarmist rhetoric accuse those who question it.

Thursday, August 3, 2017

Maybe They Can Join The Horde?

So, it turns out that recently there was an interesting even in economics. The socialist nation of Venezuela's currency has become so devalued due to  inflation (predicted to spike above 2,800 percent in 2018) is now worth less than gold in World of Warcraft. Seems their central planning isn't working out, as predictably when you have total economic control in the hands of a small group, variables get ignored.  

Saturday, July 8, 2017

Dox Soup

Self-described GOP consultant, TV pundit, campaign runner and extremely adjunct professor Cheri Jacobus recently got into a protracted Twitter tiff with the brilliantly funny libertarian and TV personality Greg Gutfeld.

She took issue with Gutfeld’s berating CNN for going after the purported creator of a popular GIF depicting President Trump body slamming a character representing the network, at a fake scripted professional wrestling event. For some reason, or perhaps no reason, she insinuated that Gutfeld condoned the alleged creator’s other posts, such as one labeling CNN employees with Stars of David.

Twitchy has a rundown of the bizarre exchange.

Perhaps Jacobus feels justified for jumping on Gutfeld because a vicious GIF once attacked and ate her uncle, but her objection seems too much like that of some on the left who are compelled to squeal in protest to silence any person they disagree with, even if it is a gay, Jewish man, or a woman who has the audacity of taking the Second Amendment literally.

Wednesday, July 5, 2017

Pushing Back

So there's been a trend over the last few years that most people should be concerned with, namely the way social media outlets have begun to censor their users. From Twitter banning Milo Yiannopoulos to the way Youtube has been demonetizing and otherwise burying content from users covering "controversial" topics. Google is just as guilty of it in some cases, but as a platform is so ubiquitous and sees such heavy traffic that they are too big a sandbox to be policed as effectively.

It's Over CNN. We Have the High Ground

Friday, June 16, 2017

A Whole New Word

Over the course of the past few months, I have found myself submersed in arguments with a number of liberals, which is not an experience I recommend.

Not because it's impossible to win an argument with a liberal. That's a given. Any argument you might put forth will be met with accusations of being "phobic" of whatever position you are arguing against. The typical argument is peppered liberally (pun intended) with references to such scholarly and intellectual fare as the Huffington Post, SalonDotCom, the DailyKos, and, of course, Vox, from whom we first learned that those evil Israelis have a bridge between Gaza and the West Bank,  to which they ruthlessly limit the access of Palestinians.

Apparently their KoolAid is spiked with LSD.

So, I get into these arguments with people for whom the grasp on reality is tenuous at best.

And, in these argument, I come into contact with word like cisgender, transphobic, mansplaining, racist, beneficiary of white privilege, male privilege, and heir to the patriarchy.

Taken separately, each of these words has a meaning, some of which I am somewhat embarrassed to admit that I know. However, string them and others all together in one semi-coherent, possibly drug-fueled argument, and simply reading them can cause one's mind to misfire and stutter and encounter what one might term a "stupor of thought."

It gets to the point where one stops thinking about what is being said and retreats to the safe space in one's mind, where thought is forbidden and everything is rainbows and unicorns.

Simply glimpsing too much of these writings can cause a formerly sane person to lose his or her mid and descend into insanity, sort of like a Necronomicon of Stupidity.

In an effort to forewarn those who would like to maintain their sanity, or whatever might be left of it, I have a word that can be used to warn others of the presence of this Liberal Gibberish, or, as I like to call it, Liberrish.

SO, here's a definition:

Libberish (n.):Leftist ranting so stupid, so incomprehensible to normal, sane people that it has the potential to rip a hole in the fabric of space and time and suck the sanity of those otherwise normal, sane people into the Seventh Circle of Hell.

You're welcome.

Monday, June 5, 2017

Love Is All You Bleed

During Ariana Grande’s “One Love Manchester” benefit concert, counter-terrorism expert Katy Perry imparted cultivated pearls of enlightenment on the unwashed, un-bodyguarded, un-gated communitied masses who apparently have not done enough to open their hearts to their misunderstood neighbors.

“It's not easy to always choose love, is it, especially in moments like this... but love conquers fear and love conquers hate, and this love you choose will give you strength, and it's our greatest power.”

“As you stand here, all of you here..standing next to a stranger...just touch the next person, touch the person next to you. Tell them I love you, look in their eyes.”

“I encourage you to choose love, even when it's difficult. Let no one take that away from you.”

No wonder a certain subset of unfairly oppressed migrants are moved to occasionally go out and slaughter a bunch of infidels. Wouldn’t you? Of course you would, because all religions are the same.

Monday, May 29, 2017

I Need A Stiff Drink

A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, conn a ship, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly. Specialization is for insects.
-Robert A. Heinlein

What does that have to do with needing a stiff drink? Well, with Antifa larping like they're real revolutionaries, when most of them are beta males trying to score enough SJW good boy points to get some attention from cat eye glasses wearing manatees with pink hair or are cat eye glasses wearing manatees with pink hair themself, it occurs to me that one of the skills of a refined man is the ability to mix a good drink. In point of fact I think that has to be the biggest omission from Heinlein's list.

Friday, May 26, 2017

Beggers of the world unite, comrades

Apparently the person or people who run the Just Some Antifas tumblr think begging is a job. If you don't believe me but don't want to give them the clicks I got a screencap of their post included here for you.

They seem to be under the misconception that the only definition of a job is that people pay you for something, and in so far as it goes that argument goes it isn't entirely wrong, it isn't entirely correct either. Their arugment falls apart when they define the good or service of begging as the act itself. There simply isn't anything there.

Capitalism is when in its purest form simply a very advanced form of bartering where currency is a neutral medium that allows for different goods to be exchanged more fluidly, as there is a defined objective value instead of an abstract value. Begging has no objective value and only a very nebulous abstract value, the feeling of moral satisfaction attained from doing good on the part of the person who gives. That money exchanged? It isn't the result of labor, but a charitable donation with no real value to the person who makes the donation. That's the whole point of the charitable donation exemption in the tax code, the government is paying you for good work such as assisting the disenfranchised.

There is a lot you can say about Antifa and how they are spoiled children. Seriously, google the phrase "antifa are spoiled children" and you will find news articles, blog posts and youtube videos aplenty,  but this tumblr post exposes one of the core reasons no one outside of their like minded regressive leftist allies can take them seriously, they lack common sense and any sort of real understanding.