Saturday, May 23, 2015

Just When You Actually Need Them

Thursday, May 21, 2015

And Don’t Forget to Randomly Capitalize Words

Comment form for light, diverse video posts on news-oriented sites:

Slow news day? C’mon [title of site], what does this have to do with [general theme of site]? How about reporting on [current news item or conspiracy that has been covered elsewhere or in a previous post]? [include several links]

If I wanted to watch a video of an [expletive + subject of video] I would have gone to [other website]!

Ho hum. Well, that’s [length of video] minutes of my life I’ll never get back.

By the way, who proofreads this stuff? [point out typo] My second grader can write better than this.

And who keeps deleting my comments? I wrote two others just like this today with no profanity or threats and they just disappeared! Hopefully, this one will stay up.

Forget it, I’m going back to [news aggregator or other site]. Goodbye!

Friday, May 15, 2015

The Left Has Learned Nothing From History

Every time in history when any totalitarian force has sought to steal control of a nation, it has consistently made the same mistake.  Hubris leads it to think that it can replace individual human self interest with authoritarian control, at the point of a gun, if necessary.

Tuesday, May 12, 2015

Democrats to the Rescue

 "I've got the House on a string, I can make the R bow..."

You know I've spent so long despising Democrats, for very good reason, that it comes as a shock to me when I have to agree with one or a few of them. But when I have to agree with almost all of them...well, let's just say I have to at least consider I'm having a nightmare.

But, it's no nightmare, and it ought to be quite obvious to anyone why that is. What I am referring to is today's Democrat filibuster against a procedural vote on the so-called "ObamaTrade" bill. Obama's latest grasp for executive fiat backed by the Republican party and vehemently opposed by the Democrats.

Monday, May 11, 2015

MontanaFair Bans Cowboy Hats

Just months after neighboring state Wyoming’s change in its dress code for highway patrol officers, prohibiting troopers from wearing cowboy hats and cowboy boots while on duty, a popular annual event in Montana is banning cowboy hats. Citing safety concerns, MontanaFair board members in Billings last week voted 3-2 to prohibit the wearing of the traditional western headgear by fairgoers, participants, vendors, and employees. Other types of close-fitting hats, such as ball caps, will not be restricted.

Thursday, May 7, 2015

Do as You're Told and Everybody Will Get Hurt, Anyway

Some say it's wrong to depict the Islamic prophet Muhammad because it provokes terrorist attacks. You know what else incites Islamic terror attacks?

  • Denouncing Islam
  • Condemning terrorism
  • Opposing Sharia law
  • Desecrating the Koran
  • Being homosexual
  • Opposing the mistreatment of women
  • Opposing the destruction of Israel
  • Being Jewish
  • Being Christian
  • Being an atheist
  • Being anything but a Muslim
  • Not being Muslim enough
  • Being accused of any of the above

Let's step up and be responsible, people.

Monday, April 27, 2015

A Conversation on Race with Eric Holder

Since Attorney General Eric Holder is leaving his post as the head of the Department of Justice, we here at Nuking Politics thought it would be a great idea to catch up with him, as he transitions back to the private sector and maybe try to start up that National Conversation on Race that he has so often said that we need.

So we sent a few staff members to speak with him and the results were...well...about what you'd expect. Details follow. (In order to maintain staff anonymity, we went to great expense and hired a portraitist to do an artist's depiction of the NP staff members involved.)

Saturday, April 25, 2015

Relax, Madge, it’s Yellowcake

The marketing genii of the same ilk who brought you such mockable, healthcare-hawking icons as Pajama Boy and the two-dimensional, cradle-to-grave government dependent drone Julia, are at it again.

Hillary for America, which is ostensibly trying to get Ms. Clinton elected president, recently sent an email inviting supporters to display their fealty by using slick new bumper stickers in a futile attempt to keep their rusted out Scooby vans intact.

Wednesday, April 22, 2015

Ted Cruz On "Senator vs Governor"

Ted Cruz' frank treatment of issues stands as a welcome contrast to the poll driven sideshow offered by the left...

Sunday, April 19, 2015

Let's All Help the #Hillary2016 Campaign!

I am SO excited over the prospect of Hillary Clinton becoming president I can't even begin to tell you. I mean, who better than Hillary to become the first woman president, amirite?

Seriously, she's reportedly a woman, and everyone knows who she is, so is there really any good reason why it shouldn't be her?

So, I thought to myself, "Why not give her some help, maybe make a little history?"

And, feeling significantly lighter in the pocketbook after tax day, I figured the best way to help her would be to suggest a number of catchy slogans they could use to help bring the Spirit of Hillary to the masses.

  • Hillary2016: It's her turn, darn it!
  • Hillary2016: Achievements from um...ah...well...let's just say she's achieved stuff
  • Hillary2016: Because UTERUS!

Tuesday, April 14, 2015

Guest Post: The Greatest Souvenir I’ve Ever Seen

In 1976, my college had an athlete in the Winter Olympics at Innsbrook, Austria.

Lisa Porter* came from a very competitive family.  Her brother Hank* was a defensive lineman* in football and her other brother Ken* was a point guard* in basketball.  But Lisa was the best athlete in the family, good enough to qualify as a speed skater* in the Olympics.  Her brothers may not have been as good athletes as Lisa but they were every bit as competitive.

(*An asterisk indicates the name or term has been changed to protect the guilty.)

Credibility Not Found

HuffPost Politics describes Hillary Clinton’s 404 page as “perfection.”

You keep using that word...

Wednesday, April 8, 2015

Finally, a Practical Use for the Nuclear Deal with Iran

A new fatwa in Turkey now allows Muslims to use toilet paper to wipe themselves.

According to traditional Islamic teaching, water, or the left hand are to be used to tidy up after number twos — that, or three stones. “Psst... could you roll me a stone, buddy?”

Tuesday, April 7, 2015

This Land is My Land

"Wherefore, this land is consecrated unto him whom he shall bring. And if it so be that they shall serve him according to the commandments which he hath given, it shall be a land of liberty unto them; wherefore, they shall never be brought down into captivity; if so, it shall be because of iniquity; for if iniquity shall abound cursed shall be the land for their sakes, but unto the righteous it shall be blessed forever."

I hope you are all enjoying your Easter break in this beautiful, incomparable, blessed land.

(Video, Direct Link)
(Quote Source)

Sunday, April 5, 2015

Is He Indeed Risen?

No, not Jesus - as a Christian, I take that as an Article of Faith. You can agree, disagree, or agree to disagree, that's all within your rights as an American, and as a human being.

But I think today, the celebration of the fulfillment of Messianic prophecy through the Resurrection, is a pretty good day to think about the rise of the Other.

I had a short but fun conversation with a friend yesterday about how much she loves Obama. She loves him so much that she is pretty sure that he is the Antichrist. Me, I don't think that, but I'm fairly certain Obama's working for him.

To my understanding, the Antichrist will likely appear as a hyper-competent individual claiming to have all the answers to heal the world and bring about global peace. I realize that Obama fits most of that, but hyper-competence has certainly not been the hallmark of this administration. In fact, bumbling nincompoopery would be a far more apt description.

Personally, I don't think the Antichrist has risen yet, but I sense the day is close at hand. If I weren't already a regular churchgoer (and how completely strange yet wonderful it feels to describe myself that way!). I would certainly be considering it as a serious option.

I have always been one to go against the grain, to fight the current of public opinion, and, as it turns out, nowadays, becoming a devout Christian is about as counter-culture as you can get. Looking around at the news and at society around me, I am more an outcast from popular "thought" than I have ever been, and I'm happy for it and humbled by the opportunity.

Looking through the Scriptures and various revelations, it's hard not to believe that we are near the end times, especially considering how Christianity and anything resembling traditional morality are viewed with disdain and disgust. Things look pretty bad for those who choose to follow the Word, and they are only going to get worse.

But...the bright side is that even as we see that, that it's bad and worsening, we can see that it was all prophesied thousands of years ago, and is going exactly according to the way should. We can take heart the very fact that, since these troubled times were foretold accurately, there is no plausible reason to believe that the rest of the prophecy will somehow fail to hold true.

And there's nothing Obama, Reid, Pelosi and the democRats can do about it.

God bless you, and have a Wonderful Easter!

Thursday, April 2, 2015

The Peter Pan Principle

Wishful thinking guides Obama and the rest of the left, just like the lost boys in Neverland.   Matters that should be left to grownups are being treated by the views of a 12 year old.

Wednesday, April 1, 2015

In Fun-Hating Schools, It's March 32nd

So, the other day, we got a letter sent home from school with our kids. Since it didn't address our children by name, I can only assume it was a general letter, sent to all parents, not just us specifically. 

Here's what it said:

Due to a number of incidents over the past few years, and the loss of productive time caused by these incidents, we have decided that it would be prudent to forbid pranks on the First of April.

In order to institute this policy, and to make it as seamless as possible, we will refer to the April 1 as March 32. The following day will then be April 2, allowing us to skip any unpleasantness associated that has been experienced in the past with the so-called April Fools Day.

In considering this policy change, we noted that this policy has been in place at a number of large corporations nationwide, in order to reduce lost work hours, and also at a numerous large universities with the goal of reducing hazing incidents.

What we ask of you, the parent, is to remind your children before they leave home that any pranks on this day will result in an in-school suspension. Please remind them, as well, that any mention of the words "April Fools" overheard by a staff member will result in detention. 

We believe these simple policy changes will allow our schools to run more efficiently and create a safer learning environment that all students can thrive in, and we thank you in advance for your support and cooperation.

(Signed by the Superintendent of Schools)

Now, maybe I'm being nitpicky here, but this just seems wrong. Seriously: the school lunches suck (THANKS MOOCHELLE! >:(  ), all the fun games, like dodgeball and tag are being taken from gym, the number of snow days (well, they call them "catastrophe days" now)has been cut back to the point of making "make-up days" at the end of the school year almost inevitable, and now THEY WANT TO TAKE AWAY APRIL FOOLS DAY?!?!?!? It just ain't right.

 This country is going to heck in a handcart.

Monday, March 30, 2015

The Bunkers Impenetrable

In the coming nuclear war with Iran, America is going to be faced with a couple of possibly mutually-exclusive goals (maybe even more than a few), as the natural and predictable consequence of us losing our national manly swagger back when the Obama Democrats took over. To a degree this seems to happen whenever Democrats come into power, but rather than rehash all of post-Civil War history, I want to address some specific upcoming issues focusing on Iran's pursuit of nuclear weapons.