Monday, March 30, 2015

The Bunkers Impenetrable



In the coming nuclear war with Iran, America is going to be faced with a couple of possibly mutually-exclusive goals (maybe even more than a few), as the natural and predictable consequence of us losing our national manly swagger back when the Obama Democrats took over. To a degree this seems to happen whenever Democrats come into power, but rather than rehash all of post-Civil War history, I want to address some specific upcoming issues focusing on Iran's pursuit of nuclear weapons.

Saturday, March 28, 2015

Inane Indiana Indignation

On Thursday, Indiana Governor Mike Pence signed the Religious Freedom Restoration Act into law. The legislation prohibits state or local governments from substantially burdening a person's ability to exercise their religion — unless the government can show that it has a compelling interest, and that the action is the least-restrictive means of achieving it.

Bottom line, of course, this means that Christians who own businesses can now legally shoot anybody who looks at them funny, and/or ship them off to a local labor camp.

Due to this outrageously outrageous outrageousness, a number of enlightened, non-mouth-breathing business leaders and organizations have vowed to boycott the Hoosier State.

Wednesday, March 25, 2015

O-Man the Totalitarian

In a recruiting email for his nonprofit advocacy group Organizing for Action, President Obama wrote, “I grew up loving comic books. Back in the day, I was pretty into Conan the Barbarian and Spiderman. Anyone who reads comics can tell you, every main character has an origin story — the fateful and usually unexpected sequence of events that made them who they are. The same goes for grassroots organizers.”

He went on to recount his early experiences as a community organizer in Chicago, and he invited his minions to share their own stories for a chance to meet the Organizer In Chief in a back alley backstage.

I noticed he left out the part where he was bitten by a radioactive squirrel, thereby gaining powers of mass distraction.

There have to be more interesting origin stories about some of our other imperial overlords: Joe Biden raised by bonobos? A genetically mutated Botox injection renders Nancy Pelosi’s brain impervious to reality?  Michelle Obama eats kale, gains enormous arm muscles and the compulsion to subjugate kids’ dietary habits?

Monday, March 23, 2015

Having a Rough Monday?


Get a life coach. This one has his priorities straight...

Hillary's Final Solution

Never mind the insane budget deficit, Hillary Clinton thinks we need to fix a far more pressing problem:The Fun Deficit.

She wants to send us all to "Fun Camp," When I think that the liberal idea of "fun" is to tell us conservatives how terrible we are, I shudder to think what would go on at the camps. I suspect it is a start to her Master Plan to commit genocide against conservatism,

And, with liberals, it's been said, what is not outlawed will be made mandatory.

It appears this program is already in the works, as I found a poster advertising it:
You WILL HAFF FUN!!!

There are worse ideas, I'm sure, but I can't think of any off the top of my head.

Sunday, March 22, 2015

A Christmas Miracle

Okay, I know I said I was done posting Christmas stuff, and I also know it's the middle of March, and I know further that this isn't all that political, and I know I'm not writing as often as I should, but this isn't really a Christmas-y post, it involves the middle of March, and also marriage, which is a political football at the moment, and sometimes life sucks, sometimes it's crazy, and sometimes it's so good you just need to share,

Anyway, two years ago today, I posted a long essay about my wedding day and the events leading up to it, in honor of my nineteenth anniversary. What I didn't write was what followed. I don't want to get too detailed, but not too long afterward, we had something of a disagreement. And by disagreement, I mean an argument that left us ragged and basically not talking.

I remember someone once said that the key to a happy marriage is never going to bed mad at one another. Well, we went to bed mad that night, and pretty much every night for the next twenty months. We barely spoke or even looked at one another, which made for some interesting times. There were actually two vacations where we barely acknowledged each other's presence. Which is not easy to do in a Toyota Corolla and a cheap hotel room.

Yeah, it got ugly.

I actually made arrangements to move out of the house at the end of this past December. I was tired of the cold. Lonely.

But then something happened.

Saturday, March 21, 2015

Cap'n Traitor

I started writing a response in the comments to Keln’s post, which referenced an article by Patrick Moore, but my tippy typing got out of hand.

Moore’s is an excellent article, and one that will be dutifully ignored or berated by those whose arguments consist only of bandwagon certitude and ad hominem attacks that quickly deteriorate into banal aspersions involving “flat-earthers” or “Jesus riding a dinosaur” — or the daily doom article that cites models based on dubious data, speculating that something catastrophic “may happen” if we don’t do something right now, like recycle ear wax or invest in Al Gore bonds. Spare me the endless parade of “99 percent of climate scientists...” and “They’re just shills for big oil.”

The few heretics, like Patrick Moore, remind me of this classic illustration:

Whodathunkit?

Dr Patrick Moore - Greenpeace Co-founder, Scientist, Environmentalist, and former Hippie
 
 I'll be honest. I didn't really know who Patrick Moore was until quite recently. He is a co-founder of Greenpeace and a full-blown environmentalist. He's also an actual scientist. I guess today that doesn't mean much, especially concerning environmental and eco-scientists, but it's better than just being an "activist". 

Happy First Full Day of Spring!

For your listening and viewing pleasure., a song celebrating spring and one of the many wonderful activities the coming of spring affords us all.

Thursday, March 19, 2015

Ethanol Vampires

Americans hate ethanol, by which I mean "ethanol subsidies".   

We hate vampires too, only - strangely - not as much as ethanol subsidies. If we could commit a crime against the anthropomorphic embodiment of ethanol, I guarantee you it would be a hate crime.

Tuesday, March 17, 2015

I Guess I’m A Statist After All


I’m against “gay marriage”, and I can explain why without delving into religion, but given all my strong leanings towards individual liberty and freedom, my reasons may surprise you.

Saturday, March 14, 2015

The Pi is Falling

In celebration of Pi Day, the alarmist aeolists at Greenpeace USA posted the graphic featured on the left side of this doctored diptych.


 But Common Gore math only deals with imaginary numbers.

Wednesday, March 11, 2015

The Worst of All Worlds



If you were forced to choose between being raped and being murdered, which would you choose?

Monday, March 9, 2015

Obama's Iran Deal: The Secret Terms

Recently, we've been hearing a lot about the deal that the Obama administration has been working with Iran concerning Iran's attempts to acquire nuclear weapons. What we haven't been hearing are the terms of the agreement: What does each side get?

Well, we all know about the "No nuclear weapons development for 10 years" term. Like everybody with even an yoctogram of sense, I thought that was not only insane, but far too much to give: A reversal of the standing U.S. policy that Iran should NEVER be allowed to develop nuclear weapons.

Turns out, that's what THEY ARE GIVING US!

Yes, that's right, they will cease their "secret" nuclear weapons program for ten years, during which they will run a "super-secret" nuclear weapons program and following which, they will be allowed to have an open and active nuclear weapons program.

Smart Power.

Then I wondered, if they think that's giving us something, then they obviously will be wanting something in return. I went to my deep cover mole within the State Department to hunt down the specifics that I know you all are wondering about. Some of them are horrible, some are maybe not so bad, and some are, well, just a bit confusing.

So, let's have a look.

Tuesday, March 3, 2015

Nuke the Punchline - We're Gonna Need Bigger Guns

Despite the hectic schedule necessitated by his "medium distance relationship", Harvey at IMAO is *still* writing awesome straight lines. MY HERO! He'll post another amazing one today. In the mean time, the increasingly capricious Anonymiss has decided to shock everybody by actually judging one.

President Obama Plans to Ban Bullets and Replace Them with…



Substantial Disagreement with Reality

President Obama has a “substantial disagreement” with Israel about how to prevent Iran from developing nuclear weapons.

Take it from an expert on the Middle East and militant Islamic relations.


Sunday, March 1, 2015

And We Have Better Taste in Earrings

After granting final interviews to virtually every news outlet but Inspire and the Socialist Worker, outgoing Attorney General Eric Holder has declined to take any questions from the most watched cable news network in the country.

I haven’t watched any appreciable amount of television in the past few years, but, submitted for your approval, I’ve come up with a new slogan for the network that some on the left may want to keep in mind.