Tuesday, July 22, 2014

Just a Little Over the Top, Barber

Addressing Netroots Nation recently, North Carolina NAACP president William Barber II continually characterized those with different opinions as “extreme and immoral,” and said that he was sick of “freedom” being the basis of conservative policy. At one point, he excoriated those who “refuse to pass anything just because you don’t like little black girls having pajama parties in the White House.”

No, Reverend Barber, those aren’t the types of pajama parties we object to.

Monday, July 21, 2014

I, Hippie

Here for your edification and enjoyment, a little treat from Dana Carvey. He's got a bunch of them at the link, but the one I saw first on the Tonight Show wasn't there, which is kind of awesome I could only find on YouTube, videoed off of somebody's television. So: sorry about the poor sound and video quality, but it's still pretty funny.


Saturday, July 19, 2014

Skein of Terror! Part Deux

An atheist group is peeved by the Supreme Court’s ruling that people who own a company can’t be forced to relinquish their religious tenets concerning the sanctity of innocent human life, while they’re essentially being forced to pay for their employees’ healthcare.

This calls for a symbolic protest — but hashtags are so two months ago.

The Secular Coalition for America has come up with a campaign so secular and coalitiony that it will strike the fear of...uh...nothingness into anybody who dares to have a theistic thought.

What is this one weird trick they have up their collective secular sleeve?

Friday, July 18, 2014

Hey Europe, Your Hate is Showing

Circa 19../20..?

The place is Berlin. Angry crowds are mulling about outside of the Reichstag and elsewhere in the city, incensed at the actions and audacity of the people they've chosen to side against and place the blame on for a hundred crimes, real or imagined. The enemy are the Jews, or Juden. The eternal bogeymen of Europe, many Germans have had enough of them and their aggression. And with a loud voice, they proclaim their anger towards them."Jude! Jude! Etappenschwein!" they cried. "Jew! Jew! Cowardly Pig!" and "Come out and fight us!".

The date: July18th...2014.

Thursday, July 17, 2014

Fun With Word Crimes

There is someone around here who absolutely loves, Loves, LOVES words. And hates word crimes.

So when I saw Weird Al got out the Grammar Hammer for the first single from his new album, Mandatory Fun, I figured it might make for some amusing moments around NPHQ.

So, without further delay, here's Weird Al's Word Crimes:

Wednesday, July 16, 2014

Let's Send Jews To Mars...All of Them

Jews in Spaaaaaace....
So once again, Israel screwed up. Hamas fired rockets at them, and they shot them down. Then they retaliated, and a lot of "Palestinians" died.  The world media took a lot of pictures of the dead Palestinians, and Israel only had like one dead guy to show for it. So this makes the Palestinians the good guys, automatically...if you are European. Or stupid. Or a leftist. Or a conspiracy theorist who hates Jews. Or a white supremacist. Or a black supremacist. Which are all the same thing really; a long list of stupid people.

Monday, July 14, 2014

Great Tunes - You Shook Me All Night Long - ACDC

Lets face it: There is no possible way to hate this song. No matter how many times or how often you hear it, it's always got to bring a smile to your face, and an air guitar to your hands. Back in the days when I could actually hit a high note or two, this was one of my favorite karaoke songs. Anyway, I got to thinking: If Obama were to sing this song for karaoke, how would he do it? (Why I was thinking this isn't important right now.) I thought he would probably do it in a smarmy lounge style, like Richard Cheese, the title would have to be changed to something like I Shook You All Term Long, and the words would have to go a little something like this:

Transform the Fundaments,
Cause I'm the President.
And the Good Lord knows that I am

Sunday, July 13, 2014


So, last week, Twitter was all aglow with Palestinians and their supporters trying to gain sympathy from the world after Israel clobbered them with a few missles in retaliation for what is estimated to be, annually, about 7000 rockets fired from Gaza at civilians in Israel.

How did they go about do this?

Well, they took a cue from Dear Leader and started a hashtag campaign. Only, instead of using their prior, time-honored hashtags like #freeGaza and #freePalestine, they decided to try a few new ones, like #HitlerWasRight and #HitlerDidNothingWrong.

I'm sure that's going to gain a lot of sympathy, because as everyone knows, four million Hew-hating Palestinians just CAN"T be wrong. And if I want insightful commentary on a major issue facing the modern world, obviously the first place I'm going to look is Twitter.

Oh, #Hitler! If loving you is wrong, I don't want to be right!

History tells us that Hitler wasn't ALWAYS right, though, doesn't it? I mean, he DID do at least a few things wrong, on which I think we can ALL agree. For example, he thought he could be an artist, and that didn't turn out really well, now did it? And that whole thing with trying to invade Moscow in the winter went down as one of history's biggest blunders. Even Napoleon would couldn't argue with that.

But I'm sure that even those of us who don't hate Jews can find a common ground with those who do, and agree that, at least in some ways, #HitlerWasRight.
  • Communism stinks on ice. #HitlerWasRight
  • A Beer Hall is as good a place as any, when Putsch comes to shove. #HitlerWasRight
  • Big Bertha is an AWESOME name for a cannon. #HitlerWasRight
  • Some books are better burned than read. #HitlerWasRight
  • If you scapegoat the Jews enough, the Arabs will kill themselves trying to exterminate them. #HitlerWasRight.
  • The enemy of my enemy is my friend. For now. #HitlerWasRight
  • Austrian is the language of the future. #HitlerWasRight
  • French people are rude and arrogant and need to be squashed. #HitlerWasRight
  • The rain in Spain stays mainly on the plain. #HitlerWasRight

Attempted Sniglet

Neither hair nor there.

Some Funny Stuff

I know my funny has been broke for some time, but I AM trying, Here are a few that I thought were mildly amusing and one that just gives me the giggles.

Okay, I'll admit the above is my favorite. I tried to think of a caption but
couldn't think of anything to match the pick in the way it deserves.

Saturday, July 12, 2014

You Can't Make This Up

So, this is a real thing:

UNRWA, in case you didn't know, is the United Nations ageny that provides aid and comfort to terroritss the Palestinians in Gaza.

So, your tax dollars went to fund that Agency that built a building to aid terrorists that the terrorists accidentally blew up and now will undoubtedly demand (aided by the "progressive" democRats in Congress) that you spend more of your tax dollars to rebuild so they can blow up more Jooz without having to worry about taking care of their human shields families that they are raising to blow up more Jooz.

And yet WE'RE the racists and anti-Semites.

Red is the New Hick

An interactive map from Thinkprogress conveniently reveals which state governors believe in Science® and which ones are climate deniers.

In keeping with the color key agreed upon by 97 percent of progressive graphic designers, anything red is generally bad, ignorant, or at least not often hippie-friendly — and is to be avoided at one’s peril.

I’ve developed a much simpler bar graph that explains the consensus numbers that have been promulgated since the invention of the modern bogeyman:

A Thing of Beauty

As a vocalist, I have never been a great fan of the dance. Not the least reason is that I have very little aptitude for it by reasons of no rhythm and no agility. There are other reasons: Ballet is a bunch of overly skinny girls running around on their tippytoes (I like my women like I like my chicken: a little bit of fat on the ends), and so much of modern dance seems like little more than writhing around on the floor in pain. And frankly, I don't see the enthusiasm for a kick line.

Though I did a little on stage (poorly) in my younger days, I now avoid dancing at nearly all costs. Though I WILL do a slow dance at the father-daughter dance, I avoid anything more, and I suspect my window of opportunity on ever taking a Zumba lesson has slammed shut more or less permanently.

That said, a good dance, well done can be a thing of beauty. I've never heard of these guys: the Nicholas Brothers, but this clip has me amazed: I can't imagine two people in such synch as to do the things these guys do. I'm not sure their feet are even touching the ground half the time. It truly is a thing of beauty.

I just wish we had a president who was as competent at his job as these guys are at theirs.

Thursday, July 10, 2014


In this video, we get to watch as 5 Hamas Naval Commandos (Who Knew?!?) get themselves blowed up by the Israeli Defense Force ad they try to storm a beach. The Allies at Normandy they ain't.

Watching that video, it was all I could do to keep from laughing out loud, because all I could picture in my mind were these two scenes:

Hooray for Cleveland!

So, the Republicans have decided to hold the 2016 National Convention in Cleveland.

It's not exactly my hometown, since I'm from the Akron area, but if you say you're from Akron, people tend to gove you the blank stare. (Seriously: People today are majorly geograpy-deficient.) And I work in Cleveland, so I have some claim to the town.

I know there's going to be a lot of whining and complaining over the next few years. A lot of jokes about "The Mistake on the Lake," but Ohio IS a swing state, and maybe it will help turn the state Republican in 2016. There's plenty to do if you know where to look, and I would suggest getting here early (or staying late) to make the short trip to Cedar Point, which is repeatedly voted the best amusement park on the planet. The symphony is world-renowned, we get good concerts through here at Blossom (which is in my actual hometown, Cuyahoga Falls), there are museums, an amazing (and underrated) zoo, the Rock-n-Roll Hall of Fame (Still haven't been there...) and you can tweak the politcally correct losers by going to an Indians game.

Anyway, I'm glad the convention is coming here, and though I don't know if I'll be able to attend, or even if I'll still be around by then, it's nice to see the area getting some attention that doesn't involve the river catching fire.

And, hey, it could be worse: They could have chosen Milwaukee...

Monday, July 7, 2014

The Left's Favorite Hobby(Lobby)horse

Forgive me if I'm unimpressed by the current wailing and gnashing of teeth over the Supreme Court decision in Hobby Lobby v Incompetent Bungling Bureaucrat Sebelius. I just can't get my mind around all the indignation and outrage that the decision has elicited.

Oh, I understand it. At least, I understand why someone would be concerned about it if there was the slightest, tiniest, most miniscule scrap of truth to what was being said about it by the left. But, it IS the left, and they are rarely bound by facts or truth. Honesty is not their strong suit.

Rarely though are they in such fine demagogic form as they are this time.  It's barely worth calling what they are saying "lies," since the whole spiel seems to be from an alternate reality entirely. Seriously, I can't figure out how any thinking person can listen to the garbage coming out of the mouths of the idiots on the left and not realize that they are absolutely untruthful in pretty much every thing they say.

Getting everything you want apparently is now a right, according to the left. You are not entitled to the Pursuit of Happiness anymore, but to actual happiness, delivered at taxpayers' expense. I mean, I'm all for happiness. I think it's a great thing. But if I want happiness, I have to pursue it. I shouldn't expect Big Government to deliver it to me all wrapped up in a nice sparkly package. But I digress...

In this case, they're trying to say that Hobby Lobby's refusal to pay for the four methods of birth control that destroy a fertilized egg is tantamount to them not only refusing to pay for ANY of the sixteen other forms of birth control available, but to denying them access to birth control ALTOGETHER!

Verily I say unto you: LIBERALS LIE!

Saturday, July 5, 2014

Fireworks From A Unique Perspective

Ever see a fireworks display from WITHIN the display?
Nor have I.

I'm just surprised the guy didn't lose his drone.


h/t: AoSHQ

He Feels Your Pain

I wish I were joking, but I'm not.

During his recent trip to Minnesota, Obama met with a woman whose family had undergone a series of setbacks, including injuries, lost jobs, spiraling debt. So, how does he let her know he Feels Her Pain?

He tells her that it reminds her of the time he and Michelle lost their nanny.

Actual quote: “When I see you, I’m reminded of when Michelle and I were starting off early on, and Michelle calling me in tears because we had just lost the nanny and we had no idea whether we were going to be able to replace her with somebody.”
Yeah, boy, that sure sounds so similar that I almost can't tell the difference between the stories.

I'm just utterly disgusted by these "one-percenters" pretending they give a flying fruitcake about us serfs here below.


Friday, July 4, 2014


As you go to watch the fireworks this evening. consider please the risk taken by the men we celebrate today: They put their lives, tyhe lives of their families, and everything they had at risk by committing treason against the most powerful nation on Earth.

And the world is a better place for it.