Monday, August 20, 2012

Nuke the Punchline: Hilliary Asked to be VP

Harvey over at IMAO has another straight line of the day up, and so it is time to pick the winners of the last one:

Hilliary asked to be VP. Obama said...

#5 Son of Bob: ...” I understand. You found paradise in America, you had a good trade, you made a good living. The police protected you and there were courts of law. You didn’t need a friend like me. But, now you come to me, and you say, ‘Don Obama, give me justice.’ But you don’t ask with respect. You don’t offer friendship. You don’t even think to call me Godfather.”

#4 Yosoff: ...“Do you think I’m suicidal?! The threat of a President Biden is the only thing keeping me alive.”

#3 D***Cat: ...I dont know…I was thinking of replacing Joe with Sarah Silverman. But what the heck…give me 5 minutes of your best standup material.

#2 Rock Throwing Peasant: ...“POP QUIZ: It’s 3 am and you get a call. I have a bucket stuck on my head. What do you do? What do you do?!?!

And the best punchline goes to blarg:

Hilliary asked to be VP. Obama said "if you want to run for V. P. ok… if you actually want to be one, talk to Romney."

Congratulations blarg!

Now here's a line for you guys:

The latest Obama ad accuses Romney of...

13 comments:

  1. Getting rid of his car elevator and having his home & garage move up & down instead.

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  2. Lactose the IntolerantAugust 20, 2012 at 6:33 PM

    killing babies and making fun of downs syndrome kids. No wait, that was Bill Mahar.

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  3. Lactose the IntolerantAugust 20, 2012 at 6:43 PM

    planning to solve the unemployment problem by hunting the unemployed.

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  4. Lactose the IntolerantAugust 20, 2012 at 6:44 PM

    making his wine, bread and clothing from the blood, bones and skin of the poor.

    ReplyDelete
  5. everything Obama has actually done to the economy in the last four years.

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  6. Lactose the IntolerantAugust 20, 2012 at 6:48 PM

    crippling seeing eye dogs, slashing wheelchair tires and eliminating all senior citizen discounts.

    ReplyDelete
  7. planning to put a double tap in the back of your grandma's head and dumping the body in a landfill in Jersey.

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  8. strapping random animals to the top of his car and then giving them murder-cancer.

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  9. of being a masticator and Homo sapien.

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  10. . . . killing Bambi's mother.

    . . . existing.

    . . . killing Edwin Drood.

    . . . being George Bush's surrogate http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0986263/

    ReplyDelete
  11. ...refusing to prove he stopped beating his wife.

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  12. Being the shooter on the grassy knoll.

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