Friday, October 12, 2012

Nuke the Punchline: Before VP Debate

Harvey over at IMAO has another straight line of the day up, and so it is time to pick the winners of the last one:

Just before the VP debate...

#5 Critter: ...Joe Biden was heard counting the number of letters in “jobs”.

#4 blarg: ...Biden sucked in his gut in front of a mirror and wondered if he can take Ryan in the all-important swimsuit portion of the debate

#3 CarolyntheMommy: ...Biden was told to be aggressive with Ryan, so he started practicing barking like a chihuahua.

#2 Bob in Feenicks: ...Biden was memorizing some zingers he thought up: “There you go again,” “You’re no Jack Kennedy,” “I did not have sex with that woman, Monica Lewinski,” “Four score and seven year ago…”

And the best punchline goes to hadsil:

Just before the VP debate, Obama was so nervous he ate a cat by mistake. 

Congratulations, hadsil!

Now here's a line for you guys to debate:

The real reason Biden kept laughing during the debate...


  1. His fuzzy bunny slippers kept tickling his tootsies.

  2. Somebody slipped something funny into his polygrip.

  3. Turns out that "crap-eating grin" is literally a thing.

  4. ...the oxygen tank he brought to adjust to Kentucky's altitude turned out to be nitrous oxide.

    ...Malia told him a fart joke just before the debate. Joe *LOVES* fart jokes.

  5. . . . let's just say he was sitting down, you could not see below the waist, and Valerie Jarret was not answering her phone.

  6. He left his phone in his pocket... on vibrate.

  7. he knows he's being released on january 20th.

  8. ...he learned his wife had traded him in for two, literally two!!! buckets of warm spit, so take that Dick Cheney.