Obama: Hey, Mrs. Bill, what’s up dog? Can you call me later? I’m only on the 7th hole.
Clinton: I’ve asked you not to call me that. It’s sexist.
Obama: Would you rather end up in Mitt’s binders? I think not. Now make this quick, it’s almost my turn to putt.
Clinton: As I’ve told you repeatedly, the consulate in Benghazi keeps requesting increased security because they are hearing rumors of an upcoming terrorist attack. I need your approval.
Obama: Benghazi? Is that even a real place? Sounds like something made up like Narnia or Asguard or POHKistahn.
Clinton: It's in Libya, sir.
Obama: Now pretend Libya isn’t a made up name as well. Hold for just a minute. Booyah! Sunk it! Double bogey! Beat that one, Achmed.
Achmed: (Barely perceptible in the background) Double bogey, my a#$. Is that the same math you use to calculate your budgets?
Obama: So where is this alleged Libya, exactly?
Clinton: It’s in Northern Africa, sir.
Obama: Oh, it’s in Africa. No worries, dog. They’re my homeboys. My peeps. African Americans love me. They won’t mess with America while I am in charge.
Clinton: There are no African Americans in Libya, sir.
Obama: Are you trying to tell my your pasty white a*% knows more about Africa than my African American self? Is that what you are trying to say to me, Mrs. Bill?
Clinton: I mean no disrespect sir, but the population in Libya is mainly Arab, and it has become a new Al Qaeda stronghold. There could be real violence against our consulate there.
Obama: How long have you been Secretary of State? Do you even watch the news? Fore!!!!! Al Qaeda is dead, beeyatch! I killed them! Cut off their head! The War on Terror is over. Ergo, there will be no attack in Libya. I thought you claimed to be part of the reality based community.
Clinton: I still think that we should take seriously these requests for more security from those people on the ground who know more about what is going on there.
Obama: Did you just imply that someone knew more than me? Did you?
Clinton: No, sir…
Obama: OK, if you are really worried, here is what you do. Do we have any guns left over from Fast and Furious? Just ship them over.