It has been reported that in anticipation of possibly losing reelection, the Obama administration was beginning to establish rules regarding the use of drones that would be applied to the incoming administration. Of course, since he won the rules won’t be finalized because Obama, in his infinite wisdom and mercy, doesn’t require such rules. My man in State, however, has managed to get his hands on the draft of the new rules, and here they are:
· The President may no longer be allowed to use the drone remote control.
· The Vice President will no longer be allowed to use any remote control.
· Drones may no longer be used to target political opponents.
· Drones may no longer be used to target someone for holding a Big Gulp or a Twinkie.
· The Vice President will no longer be allowed to pretend to ride on the drones.
· Drones may no longer be used to barter with Hamas for hummus.
· Drones may no longer be used by TMZ to spy on celebrities and obtain compromising or embarrassing photographs or videos.
· Drones may no longer be used to pick up take out or dry cleaning for the First Lady.
· Foreign dignitaries will no longer be allowed to try and make the drones perform aerial acrobatics in exchange for campaign donations.
· Bo will no longer be allowed to play fetch the drone.