Thursday, February 21, 2013

Nuke the Punchline: And Then There Are Days You Don't Want To Be Tiger Woods

Harvey over at IMAO has another straight line of the day up, and so it is time to pick the winners of the last one:

While playing golf with Tiger Woods, Obama...

Rodney Dill: ...always had the best lies… which he tells frequently.

gsmtiger: ...tried to pull the race card when he lost.

CTCompromise: ...would not keep count of his strokes, citing the new official White House “What Does It Matter?” policy.

Apostic: ...had more Mulligans than an Irish phonebook.

Jimmy: ...led Tiger from behind.

Apostic: hungry on the 11th hole; he heard it had a long dogleg.

Dohtimes: ...had to pull his shotgun three times when attacked by wild skeet.

Rodney Dill: ...sent drones after the other players on the course because he misunderstood when Tiger asked him if he could, “Kill the Gophers.”

Bob in Feenicks: ...bragged that he spends more time golfing than Tiger does.

Oppo: ...double-bogarted several times.

Oppo: ...avoided the water hazard better than Rubio did.

Bob in Feenicks: ...cried every time the ball ended up in the pond. -The media reported Obama turned water into whine.

Well, since I can't pick a winner today...these were all outstanding...everyone gets two points per line that made it here from my original list of like fifty.

Congratulations nukers!


The best punchline for the last Nuking Politics straight line was from HokieGomer:

The oddest thing in Obama's golf bag...are the dog whistle and tranquilizer gun.

Congratulations HokieGomer!


Now here's a line for you guys to smack around:

When asked to go skeet shooting, Joe Biden...


  1. ... said "Can't. Jill's still out on the balcony with my shotgun, waiting for help".

  2. ...said he had promised PETA that he wouldn't shoot skeet anymore.

  3. ... was confused as to why everyone insisted he dress up like a skeet; he prefers the antlers and pelt he gets to wear for deer hunting.

  4. ...wondered how big the 'skeeters were if you had to use such large guns to shoot them.

  5. ...said he would go right after the funeral for the golf that Obama shot.