Saturday, March 2, 2013

Crying During a Movie

Let's face it...chicks like to cry during a movie. I mean, it isn't a good movie to a girl unless they are crying. Guys, on the other hand, don't cry. They just leak a little awesome out of their tear awesome ducts once in a while. It happens and no matter how manly you are, you can't really help it.

Times when that awesome leaks out include:

• Hitting your thumb with a hammer.

• Watching your favorite team lose the Super Bowl, National Championship, or any other game. Including preseason, scrimmages, and practices.

• Watching the end of Old Yeller.*

• Funerals.

• Your own wedding.

• For some guys, onions. Not me...I'm too manly to let a stupid onion make my awesome leak, you wussies. I punch the onion, and then he knows who's boss.

Well, during a movie, it is pretty much against guy rules to let any awesome leak. Unless it is Old Yeller. That is an official addendum to man rules.

Well, I unfortunately have to admit...I broke that man rule...when I saw Les Misérables.

I didn't let any awesome leak when I saw that play actually on Broadway in New York, but I did when I saw the recent film version.

So I think that means that  the singing of either Russel Crowe or Hugh Jackman or both is what did it. For all of the wrong reasons. Like if I were to ever watch a Twilight movie, I bet I would leak a little awesome accompanied by the phrase "please make it stop!". Thank the good Lord that my wife isn't into vampire movies. I'm not good with torture.

On second thought, I am a real man, so I don't care what kind of dumb movies she likes, she can go watch them by herself. As long as she takes me along. I don't want to feel left out and all.

Might make me leak a little awesome...being all ronery and arr.

* It is also considered ok to leak a little awesome when in the Godfather you see the scene about "leave the gun, take the cannoli". I mean...why can't you take both? Don't you have pockets? Poor ronery gun.


  1. Whoa! Needed NSFW warning on your link!!!

    Don't leak any awesome. It's just a tiny criticism. :)

    1. NSFW? That song? Maybe I should listen to the lyrics again or something. I thought it was clean.

    2. I didn't hear the song. The first thing I heard when I clicked the link was the F bomb, so I turned it off.

    3. Oops. I didn't catch that. Link removed. Thanks!

    4. Here's one without the f-bomb. It's a low quality copy, but you'll get the point.

  2. Dude, I totally leaked awesome all over the place when I saw Les Miz the first time on broadway.

    I also leaked awesome about the first four times I saw Titanic.

    Also, I leaked a lot of awesome last week at work, forno reason whatsover, and couldn't stop for like half an hour. It's been a rough month.

    I guess I' not much of a man by the light of day, but at night... Well, hell, you know...

    1. I'm leaking awesome because you've been so absent. I hope you're mending and will be back soon. February was dreadful, but it's March now! Spring is coming! I saw a little bit of blue sky!

    2. I didn't know girls HAD awesome ducts. I thought they leaked sulfuric acid and poisonous hemlock.


      Live and learn.

      I'm mending slowly and hope to be hearing the voices again by St. Patrick's Day. Counseling helps, but it takes time. I have found a smile again, from time to time, so there's that.

    3. Oh, we have a LOT more awesome than you guys know about. I also leak awesome when I Zumba. Tons of awesome. Of course, being a lady, I never "sweat".

      I'm glad you've found a smile. Those little things can make all the difference. :)