Wednesday, March 27, 2013

New Disability Discovered: COLD SORES

According to a new study, Cold Sores have been linked to both Alzheimers and dementia.  As a result, President Obama has called for new regulations to prevent Cold Sore discrimination.

Those with cold sores - also known as "Fever-Blister-Americans" - will be ineligible to vote unless, of course, they promise to vote democrat.

They will not be held accountable for infidelity in divorce cases, as they probably just forgot what their spouse looked like.

Students with cold sores will be given the answer key for all exams.

All politicians with a history of cold sores will be excused from keeping any campaign promises...or any promises at all.  (Sources say Hillary is confident she had a cold sore before, during and after the Benghazi attacks.)

FBA's will be forgiven any debts, as how could they be expected to know how much money they have? It's a disability.  You racist.

They will not be required to make appointments as they could never remember. Therefore, whenever someone with a cold sore comes into a doctor's office, the doctor will be required to see them immediately.

In closing, the President advised, "Make sure you carry your car title on your person at all times.  If a person with a cold sore mistakenly takes your car, you'll need to be able to prove it is yours."

11 comments:

  1. "Didn't I see you vote here earlier today?"

    "Hmm? I don't think so, but see, I have a cold sore. Fork over that ballot, Beauford, or are you a racist?"

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    1. How am I supposed to know where I was born or if I'm here illegally? I have a cold sore! Give me my welfare check! Or will I have to introduce you to my armed body guard?

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  2. This post gets Keln's stamp of approval.

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    Replies
    1. Those are IMAO awards, sorry.

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    2. Maybe we need a slate of NP awards, so we can tell ourselves how AWESOME we are?

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  3. I am Keln and I approve this message. :P

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  4. Loved the line on Hillary. I'll bet she had a cold sore when she was asked about cattle futures in the 90s, too.

    Keln - While High Praise! is an IMAO thing, bestowing bacon upon those deserving of praise should be as universal as the high 5.

    Bacon to Anonymiss!

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    Replies
    1. And chocolate covered cinnamon bears. Lots of them :P

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