Thursday, April 25, 2013

Nuke the Punchline - Never Never Land-ing Planes


Harvey over at IMAO has another straight line of the day up, so it is time to choose the winners of the last one:

Because of the sequester cutbacks, airports... 


#5 rodney dill: Because you’re G d***ed ^^^#@ing thieves! You Libertarians truly are the scum of the earth (jw said "overhead speakers will continually loop carpentarian rants, beginning with the famous GDFTYLT, for no freakin’ reason whatsoever.)
(http://www.imao.us/index.php/2013/04/i-may-be-having-too-much-fun-with-this/)

#4 jw: … to increase efficiency will load passengers onto the first available plane without regard to the destination. like they have been doing with luggage for years.

#3 a guy named Rob: …will require every passenger to help push start all aircraft

#2 Russ:… will cut back their pat-down and full-body scanner searches to females only…DD or larger.
In unrelated news, President Obama named Bill Clinton as the new head of the TSA.(Doggone it, I'm STILL not off the hook)

And my favorite straight line of the day was from tanstaafl... 

Because of the sequester cutbacks, airports...will only allow planes to take off.

COOKIES to tanstaafl!
P.S. So Frank J. submitted a punchline. He's the boss and he doesn't play that often. I wonder if I was supposed to let him win?? Ummmmm. Oooops. Well, PARTICIPATION COOKIES to Frank J.! Ya know, if you're the boss, you don't even have to be that funny to get cookies. Let that be a lesson to you. Always participate in Anonymiss's contests. Oh...and be the boss. :)

P.P.S. Cookies to plentyobailouts for his reference to the movie Airplane. I hate to admit I've seen that movie a few too many times...Johnny, what can you make of this? This? Well, I can make a hat; I can make a brooch; I can make a pterodactyl...
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I thought you guys might enjoy Word Crimes: Punishment.  I hate it when people mess with words. What do you think? Should I keep writing about word crimes?

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The best responses for Nuking Politics' straight line:

Rep. Ed Markey, D-Mass., said that "People with radical ideas can use everyday objects to cause great harm," like...


#3 Rodney Dill: ...putting women in binders.
#2 D***Cat: ...what Michelle Obama has done to school lunches.


The best punchline for the last Nuking Politics straight line was from : Bob B. 

Rep. Ed Markey, D-Mass., said that "People with radical ideas can use everyday objects to cause great harm," like...awarding cookies can crush the souls of the unfunny.


COOKIES to Bob B.!

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Now here's a line for you guys to try to impress me:

Now that Bill Clinton has joined Twitter...

27 comments:

  1. ... he will deliberately commit Word Crimes just to give Anonymiss something to blog about.

    Bad for Anonymiss, but good for the NP readers :-)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. So do I owe him cookies now? Or something?

      Delete
  2. ...he realizes that there is a "W" in that word, and is quite disappointed

    ReplyDelete
  3. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  4. ...he will first tweet, "Hey, look who's a twit."

    ReplyDelete
  5. Don't you think this whole cookie idea is rather lame? We have an obesity epidemic in this country so spreading around electronic carbohydrates is only going to make it worse, and my computer is not covered by Obamacare.

    Can't we get something more healthful like tofu and beansprouts?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. "Can't we get something more healthful like tofu and beansprouts?"

      Only if you make Anonymiss angry.

      Don't make Anonymiss angry. You wouldn't like her when she's angry.

      Delete
    2. "Don't make Anonymiss angry. You wouldn't like her when she's angry."

      What I like to do behind closed doors in none of anyone else's business.

      Um... perhaps I've said too much.

      Delete
  6. The has tag #YGDFT!YLTATSOTE will get more use.

    ReplyDelete
  7. ... Anthony Weiner has breathed a sigh of relief that he's not the biggest slimeball on the service.

    ReplyDelete
  8. ... and surprisingly, becomes no more juvenile than he already was.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Boy. You guys seem to really hate this guy.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh, I do. And yet he was still better than the current guy.

      Delete
  10. You can let Bill know how you think his is doing at #TheHummidorIsOpen

    ReplyDelete
  11. ...Oh crap. This means Saxting will now become an acceptable texting term.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. ...and yes, 'Saxting' is how I meant to spell it.
      (muffled grumbling about Grammar Hammer)

      Delete
    2. This comment has been removed by the author.

      Delete
  12. ...you can let Bill know how you think Obama is doing at #IFeelYourPain, You can let him know how you think Hillary is doing at #FeelMyPain.

    ReplyDelete
  13. ...Top Trending hashtag? #CloseButNoCigar

    ...he will be able to cheat on Hillary in a public forum.

    ...We'll be able to enjoy every nauseating, self-serving thought this shallow, egotistical sex offender has to offer.

    ReplyDelete
  14. He was disappointed to realize that he hadn't noticed the 'w' when he signed up.

    ReplyDelete
  15. First YES, I too have a small coronary over Word Crimes - my current trigger is "decimate."

    Then to the punchline: There are people from IMAO and Breitbart following him - waiting for his eventual "weiner" post.

    ReplyDelete
  16. ...you may have to put some ice on it.

    ReplyDelete
  17. ...you can expect the hashtag #Giggity ending most of his tweets.

    ...Hillary will be following him. -Closely.

    ReplyDelete