Obama’s been catching a lot of mockery for only giving 5% of his salary up as a token tip of his hat to the sacrifices other federal employees have to make as a result of the sequester. The mockery isn’t really fair. Giving back 5% of his salary is only a part of the sacrifice he is planning to undertake to spread the sequester misery around. Here is his comprehensive, multi-point plan.
· Only tip waiters 5% instead of my usual 10%.
· Stop using super unleaded in the motorcade, and use the royal palanquin whenever possible.
· Sell my blood and seed for medical experiments.
· Stop having Air Force One idle on the runway while awaiting my return for the flight home.
· Start food shopping at the pound, and only use the expensive purebreeds for dinners with important dignitaries.
· Change my Netflix account from the 3 disc to the 2 disc plan.
· Switch Joe to the generic brand chewable vitamins.
· Organize the community better.
· Turn down the heating and AC in the intern office area.
· Switch Joe to the generic brand lithium tablets.
· Fire my landscapers and replace them with immigrants who are here illegally. (Is that the PC way to say it now)?
· One word: Extreme Couponing!
· One more word: Staycation This Year. Plenty to do in DC. Give me a chance to learn about those Washington and Lincoln fellas that have all those monuments.
· Switch Joe to the generic brand hair plug maintenance plan.
· No more charitable donations except to the Palestinians and the DNC.
· Start cutting my choom with parsley.
· See if Michelle can have her clothing laundered instead of discarding and purchasing new outfits every day.
· Sell Sasha to the gypsies.
· Start charging Chris Matthews on a per tingle basis.
· Buy Malia that do-it-at-home orthodontics kit.
· Pass a law requiring all Americans to buy a copy of Dreams From My Father, and put the proceeds toward myself.