Wednesday, April 17, 2013

The 8 Hottest New Fashion Trends for Spring

It's starting to get a bit warmer outside, so girls, that means it is time to update your wardrobe.  With the recent changes in the military, some women are complaining about their fashion choices. I totally agree with these ladies that somebody should make them better fitting combat armor.  I mean, the armor is just too heavy and it's not really made to go around a woman's body.  Somebody should fix it, and it should be done right away.

In fact, I think there are a LOT of things that somebody should do, and pronto.

1- Make 34DD sumo wrestling gear.

2- Allow all men with abdominal issues to be attended in hospital maternity wards. Who knows? They COULD be pregnant.

3- Add a wing to all firehouses for female fire fighters....and then, of course, make them women-friendly fire protection gear.

3a- Make sure all fire victims weigh less than 100 lbs so that a female fire fighter could pull them out of a burning building.  Fire victims daring to weigh more will be heavily fined. And also, perhaps, dead.

4- Make NFL helmets, pads and uniforms in women's sizes in case a woman ever makes the team.

5- Make sure all building materials at construction sites are sized down so as female construction workers could easily lift them.  Who cares if the bridge collapses?

6- Require facial tissues be provided at all athletic events. When people's teams lose, sometimes people cry.

7- Start coordinating Bill a "First-Gentleman Wanna Be" wardrobe.  He will probably start trends involving little felt hats and boob belts.

8- Get that Nuking Politics Snow White chick 7 adoring dwarves.

Wait. Somebody already did that.



  1. I saw that post on body armor and something bothered me about it. Not the "fitting" part, that makes sense. The article said the women's armor was to be six pounds lighter. First, if six pounds lighter means less armor and less protection, then that should speak for itself as being bad. Second, I thought women in combat roles were going to be held to the same standards as men. If they can't lug the same weight of armor, weapons, and ordnance as men they shouldn't be in that role. (Just as weaker smaller men shouldn't be in that role either.) If they really can make the armor lighter with the same level of protection they should be doing the same for the male counterparts. If they meant, on average, its six pounds lighter then they shouldn't even have brought it up, as it would be lighter for men of smaller stature as well. ...and the hot pink pumps are right out.

    1. Exactly. ExACTly.

      Thus, the point about the collapsing bridge...

      If women can't do the job they're hired to do...then they should hire someone who can.

      But pink is ALWAYS a good idea :P

  2. The Party of Science (POS) seems convinced that evolution needs to be taught in schools, but ignored entirely when it's even suggested that women might have, you know, evolved to perform certain tasks, and men other tasks. They are convinced evolution reigns supreme until it gets in the way of what they want, darn it.

    1. Yes. They think evolution is making us all the same somehow.

      I like some of the same things as you guys and and some of my beliefs are the same...but I quite enjoy that, fundamentally, I am very different.