Friday, May 10, 2013

Nuke the Punchline - Mr. Ed Goes to Russia

Harvey over at IMAO has another straight line of the day up, so it is time to choose the winners of the last one:

While visiting Russia, John Kerry…

#can of spam : … said he could see Alaska from his hotel room.

#4 Oppo : … was repeatedly asked, by a deeply impressed Vladimir Putin, how the U.S. created such an efficient state-run media.

#3 Dohtimes :…mangled the translation and had ten husky Siberians sent back to Obama.

#2 Matt Musson : bought a set of Russian nesting dolls to keep Joe Biden busy over the summer.

And my favorite straight line of the day was from Grand Larsen E. :

While visiting Russia, John Kerry…was kept waiting, and just sat there with a long face.

COOKIES to Grand Larsen E.!


So I got a response from Keln:

Challenge Accepted.

The game is on.


I love it when you guys comment on my NP lines. :)  Here are my favorite responses to:

How will Obamacare improve marriages?

#3 can of spam : ...It will make sammiches illegal, preventing all of the martial spats that previously occurred because the dumb broad wouldn't just go make one like she was told.
[I can't believe I chose this one...but I couldn't help it. It made me laugh out loud]

#2 Rodney Dill By... OH Look!!! SHINY!!!!

and my favorite line was from Harvey:

How will Obamacare improve marriages?

No more going through the awkward, inconvenient process of choosing your own mate. From now on, a specially-appointed Love Panel will pick your significant other for you.

Comes with optional free divorce insurance

(NOTE: Insurance may actually be mandatory and expensive)

COOKIES to Harvey!

Here's a new line for you to try:


  1. ... because they truly believe they have accounted for all of the ammunition in the country.

    ... because we have a progressive income tax; why not progressive IRS stormtroopers?

    ... [P.S. -- Hiya NSA monitors!]

    ... because they didn't have approved "D"-ductions.

    [D stands for Democrat.]

    ... because it is said that Nixon did the same thing, and liberals howled, so, by the iron law of liberal hypocrisy . . . .

  2. ...the one thing they hold onto with their fingers harder than guns, is their cold hard cash.

  3. they didn't "really" target them, they just followed the money, and where else would you end up? an OWS guy?

  4. Because Doug Shulman was a college debater and he was going to show those conversatives a lesson or two. Side note: he got a D in spelling, and may be dyslexic

  5. The IRS is not able to answer that question until after they consult with their mentor, Eric Holder

  6. Obama wants conservatives to put their money where their mouths are so he can put his mouth where the liberals money is.

  7. ...Because the IRS wants to promote those patriotic groups, showing what great Americans they are in their pursuit of freedom! (By the way, did you hear about Benghazi? All that violence over a video? Weird, huh?)

  8. ...cause conservatives have all the big ducks er... bucks.

  9. According to IRS spokesman Klaus Von Nuremberg, they "were just following orders".