Friday, June 14, 2013

Nuke the Punchline - Conversation Piece

Harvey over at IMAO has posted a new straight line of the day, so it is time to choose the winners of the last one:

A California School Is Holding a Toy Gun Buyback. You Should Also Turn In…



#5 Conservatarian:…your entire supply of Super Soaker ammunition.

#4 Jimmy: …all chemistry sets for kids. Don’t be making bömbs, now!

#3 walruskkkch : …all your 24oz cups, salt shakers, oh H***, just give them everything and see what they let you have back.

#2 can of spam: your parents for allowing you to have such evil objects in the first place, to ensure your continued advancement in the Youth Corps.   [Note: I know an elderly German woman who was in the Youth Corps...she actually shook Hitler's hand....a story for another day :) ]

And my favorite straight line of the day was from Iowa Jim :

A California School Is Holding a Toy Gun Buyback. You Should Also Turn In... to the parking lot [of] a nearby sporting goods store, buy a baseball bat, and use it to hold a conversation with the school’s principal.


 Cookies to Iowa Jim!
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You need to check out the brilliant flowchart Les discovered. The Obama Scandal Excuse Flow Chart (full sized here) is the method our President uses to confront criticism...(although such complexity does seem somewhat above his pay grade)...Cookies to Sketchy! You guys need to go see it...and if you have already....and you want me to plug a different article....could you please help me convince my dwarves to post?  My daughter has been in town all week and I'VE still been posting....(sorta).... :P  I love my sweet dwarves!!! :) ]

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Lots of great punchlines again. :)  My favorite ones:



Wal-Mart is moving towards only hiring temporary employees. What else will soon be only temporary?

#3 A Guy Named Rob: the guilt associated with eating a whole package of bacon.

#2 Bob in Feenicks: paychecks.

and my favorite line was from Dohtimes:

Wal-Mart is moving towards only hiring temporary employees. What else will soon be only temporary? 
The current definitions of "health" and "care". 

Cookies to Dohtimes!
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Here's a new line for you to try:



Twin third graders introduced President Obama at a LGBT event. His next propaganda stunt will include...

7 comments:

  1. A Mitt Romney lookalike wearing a top hat and a monocle lighting a cigar with a $100 bill, while bull-whipping an illegal immigrant and kicking a puppy.

    ReplyDelete
  2. ... triplets introducing him at a NAMBLA conference.

    ReplyDelete
  3. ...having a Marine put an umbrella in his drink at the next LGBT event he attends.

    ReplyDelete
  4. ...Have the Children of the Corn introduce him at an Obamacare rally.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Well connected to Major Expressway such as Pan-Island Expressway (PIE) and Central Expressway
    (CTE) to get you to places in no time. the interlace condo

    ReplyDelete
  6. (I think the person who points out that Nuke The Punchline # 250 is getting near should maybe get a cookie. Or a measly side of bacon. That has been a lot of jokes to read and rate, so thanks.)

    ReplyDelete