Monday, June 17, 2013

Nuke the Punchline - Not Going Anywhere For a While?

Harvey over at IMAO has posted a new straight line of the day, so it is time to choose the winners of the last one:  [Note to Harvey: I DON'T SPEAK SPANISH. I debated whether to get Rosetta Stone just for this post....Just thought you should know. GEEEEEEEEZ!]

A Democrat Started Speaking Spanish on the Senate Floor. He Said…

#5 A Guy Named Rob: Vote for Pedro!

#4 JAGernaut: in a loud, slow voice: "Send-o us your poor-o, and we will give them welfare-o"

#3 plentyobailouts: [A Democrat started speaking Spanish mexican on the Senate senate floor. He said... (FIFY)]

gibberish, just as if he were speaking democrat in English.

#2 Oppo: ..."¡Ándele! ¡Ándele! ¡Arriba! ¡Arriba! ¡EPA! ¡EPA!" (He's very pro-EPA)

And my favorite straight line of the day was from FormerHostage:

A Democrat Started Speaking Spanish on the Senate Floor. He Said…Yo soy Batman.  [Note from Anonymiss: if you would like a reason to smile, you MUST watch this 30 second video. It is one of my mostest-est favorites of ALL TIME:]

 Snickers Cookies to Batman. (FormerHostage)!

If you want to know who put the "Dum" in "Dumocrat", check out Arik's awesome post from this morning. Wow. Sometimes their stupidity is frightening. Cookies to Brashful!


My favorite line today was from Dohtimes:

Twin third graders introduced President Obama at a LGBT event. His next propaganda stunt will include...having a Marine put an umbrella in his drink at the next LGBT event he attends.

Peanut Butter Temptations
Cookies to Dohtimes!
(that was a SLAMDUNK
line, btw, (or should it be
a MILK dunk line? :)
(and extra cookies for pointing 
out how close we are to 
Straight Line #250 :)


Here's a new line for you to try:

Speaking in Ireland, Michelle Obama said...


  1. Replies
    1. You can be my assistant!
      Would you like that?
      Would you like to ride with Batman? :P

  2. ..."this is the first time I've been proud of Ireland"

  3. ..."Donate to OFA or I'll ban Shamrock Shakes."

    ..."It's time you joined the civilized world and legalized abortion."

    ..."God bless Oliver Cromwell!"

    ..."'oH qaghom naDev Ireland!" (ref: (Klingon-English))

    1. Obviously the translator has a few bugs: That lasttranslated from "It's nice to be here in Ireland," but translates back to, "qaghom is here in Ireland."


  4. "Honey, stop drooling. The Irish Rovers are a band!"

  5. ..."Ireland reminds me so much of Endor. And leprechauns look just like naked green ewoks."

  6. ... "Stop calling me Banshee. I hereby ban it!"

    ... "So who was James Joyce? Some kind of RuPaul kind of deal?"

    ... "Only $3,500 per night for my private suite, away from my husband? I'm ashamed of my country again."

    ... "First Ladying is hard. This counts as wook. (I mean, work.) I need a vacation."

    ... "After this, a vacation in Africa and then on to Martha's Vineyard. The draconian sequestration cuts are so painful that I can't bear to go back to the White House and look at their effects."

    ... "Tell the press to just shut up. Always after my lack of charms!"

  7. ... "I'm here to promote feminist rights. Erin Go Braghless!"

  8. You must do a better job of integrating the Black Irish into your country as I look out and see only white faces in the crowd.

  9. ...I love the IRA, unlike the IRS they don't waste time making you fill out paperwork before they kneecap you.

  10. "Yo tengo un gato in los pantalones"