Monday, June 3, 2013

Nuke the Punchline - Paranoid Prosecutor

Harvey over at IMAO has a new straight line of the day up, so it is time to choose the winners of the last one:

The First Job for a Special Prosecutor in the IRS Scandal Case…


#5 blarg : …host a tea party.         [I'll bring the cookies! :)]

#4 burt :…buy a case of Jack Daniels. A lot of people will be wanting to take the fifth. (I’m not sure if that can be written off as a Business Expense or Entertainment)

#3 jw : …make sure that TurboTax is working.

#2 JeffersonFan : Send every IRS agent a form letter informing them that they must produce detailed records of all their activities over the past four years, including audits, returns, business trips and receipts for any business lunches.

And my favorite straight line of the day was from walruskkkch :

The First Job for a Special Prosecutor in the IRS Scandal Case...have someone else open all his mail, and start his car.


Cookies to walruskkkch!

Did you already tell me your favorite kind of cookies, walrus? :)

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Did you know there were books in the Bible after Revelation?...watch Keln's post and see... Cookies to Keln :)
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There were a lot of great responses to my Nuke the Punchline this time! Some of my favorite ones were:

 The TSA is getting rid of all of their graphic X-Ray machines. What's going to happen to them?




#5 can of spam: They will be used to attempt to find a spine in the GOP "leadership".

#4 Keln: They will be given to the IRS and be used as part of the auditing process.


#3 Bob B.: They will be offered on Craigslist to interested graphic artists.

#2 Peter: They will be quietly bought by fraternities in colleges and universities all over the country.

My favorite line was from rodney dill:

The TSA is getting rid of all of their graphic X-Ray machines. What's going to happen to them? ...They will deploy them in public elementary schools across the country until a new generation of radiation mutated superheroes has been developed.


Cookies to rodney dill! :)
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Here's a new line for you to try:



Now that Dunkin Donuts is offering a doughnut and egg breakfast sandwich, Michael Bloomberg...

12 comments:

  1. ...will meet his untimely demise after not dodging quickly enough to avoid being trampled to death by noted breakfast enthusiast Michael Moore.

    ReplyDelete
  2. ...will outlaw chickens

    ReplyDelete
  3. ...will no longer allow eggs to be sold in those high capacity "dozen egg carton/ magazine/ clip thingies"

    ReplyDelete
  4. ...will ban all city employees, including cops, from frequenting DD, effectively driving them out of business.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Dohnut errr DohtimesJune 3, 2013 at 5:13 PM

    ...will miss the days when I would specify a rolling doughnut.

    ReplyDelete
  6. ...is planning to ban Cankle Bacon.

    ReplyDelete
  7. ...is starting to worry about Taco Bells waffle bean burrito.

    ReplyDelete
  8. ...is proposing a fine on cardiac arrests: The Heart At-tax!

    ReplyDelete
  9. ...is hoping it doesn't have the same adverse effect that Krispy Kreme's seem to cause.

    ReplyDelete
  10. On the last punchline, I feel the need to give Honorable Mention to walruskkkch for this line:

    The First Job for a Special Prosecutor in the IRS Scandal Case...

    ...is quality.

    I've been laughing at that now for DAYS!

    ReplyDelete
  11. ... will choke on his own bile (figurative and literal) from indignation.

    ReplyDelete
  12. ... will abort his attempts to ban them after being faced with a coup by the NYPD.

    ReplyDelete