Friday, July 12, 2013

Nuke the Punchline - Protective Pastry

Harvey over at IMAO has posted a new straight line of the day, so it is time to choose the winners of the last one:

The Obama Administration Wants to Change School Lunch Programs to Include…



#5 Apostic: at the suggestion of the First Lady, gagh.
[btw, Apostic, before my oven was...destroyed *sigh* I tried the wonderful Macadamia Nut and Coconut cookies you suggested. Wow. Amazing! When I finally get a new oven, I can't wait to try a few more variations....YUM!!!]

#4 D***cat: a promise of something expensive to be determined at a later date by the School Lunch Czar and to be delivered by the next administration. Unless it’s a Democrat administration in which case the thing promised will not be delivered because of Republican obstructionism.

#3 Dohtimes : …more of the same, which can best be described from everything the First Lady has ever said, as tripe.

#2 nabqrules something, but we have to eat it before we find out what’s in it.

And my favorite straight line of the day was from Oppo

The Obama Administration Wants to Change School Lunch Programs to Include…Pop Tarts nibbled into the shape of a rape whistle.

Note: Kiss up cookies to Iowa Jim, Oppo, Burt and Bob in Feenicks for their references to cookies, coup-kies and uncookies which all made me smile....and also made me a bit hungry.  :)

Cookies to Oppo
 Iowa Jim, Burt and Bob in Feenicks!

I'm still out an oven, so if you're wondering where these wonderful cookies came from... 

_______________________

So...I'm still here. If any of you happen to have a spare oven lying around...oh...and the keys to my dungeon door....that'd be awesome. :)  I'd also love some visitors...and maybe a few more...well...interim cookies... :P

_______________________

My favorite NP punchlines:



Anonymiss's brilliant scheme to escape from her ovenless dungeon...

(has not yet been enacted...
but that's beside the point...)

#3 FredKey :....consists of one word:

CHOCOLATE

[that should SO work!]

#2 Dohtimes:...does not include listening to Frank Zappa's song, The Torture Never Stops as a way to get Keln to feel sorry for her plight because it would really just cheer him up.  

[ok, I won't. That sounds like Keln :) ]

My favorite line was from Bob in Feenicks:

Anonymiss's brilliant scheme to escape from her ovenless dungeon...lighting a grail-shaped beacon.    

[Step 1: I just need to find a beacon.
Step 2: Make sure it's grail-shaped.
Step 3: Light it...somehow...
Hmmm. I seem to be a little short on resources.
...Maybe I should just ask for a shrubbery 
and then prune it into the shape: "S O S"...  :)]

Cookies to Bob in Feenicks!

You can share with us :)

________________________

Here's a new line for you to try:



Due to the unrest in Egypt, gas prices are expected to surge. President Obama's solution...

12 comments:

  1. Staging a coup in Saudi Arabia to get the prices even higher.

    ReplyDelete
  2. ... Bow to the inevitable. And everyone else.

    ... Dip into his Strategic Petulance Reserve.

    ... Instruct all Americans to fill their gas tanks with diesel instead.

    ... Go on several vacations on several continents, using as much fuel as humanly possible.

    ... Make coal prices soar even more. That'll show 'em.

    ... Have the New York Times send up a trial balloon: Busssssh's Fault??

    ... New taxes, and deficit spending. . . Was there ever any doubt?

    ReplyDelete
  3. Unleaded From Behind.

    ReplyDelete
  4. ... is to curtail Jeep Liberties. Never let a crisis go to waste.

    ... "Hope! Change! Forward. Yes, We Can!" Well, those were his solutions to all other problems. He was, after all, elected twice to implement those detailed plans; they should work in this case, too.

    ... Beard Summit?

    ReplyDelete
  5. ...bring Jimmy Carter out of retirement to talk about how energy is overrated... And free sweaters for everyone!

    ReplyDelete
  6. ...feed Joe Biden bean burritos

    ReplyDelete
  7. ... tap into Congress as a renewable source of hot air.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Solution? It's a feature! [FormerHostage]

    ReplyDelete
  9. Oopsy!! We accidentally released the information that "Anonymous" was "Former Hostage." So sorry about that. Our bad. Again.
    --- The IRS.

    ReplyDelete
  10. I tried the wonderful Macadamia Nut and Coconut cookies you suggested. Wow. Amazing! - Anonymiss

    Glad that worked for you . Made a batch last week, gave some to a friend on her birthday and took the rest to work. Darn, they* go fast. (*the cookies, not the friend and work ;) ) Good luck on the oven thing.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks for the luck, Apostic. Hey! Can I be your friend so you can make me cookies for MY birthday? :)

      Delete
  11. ...is to have pro Trayvon Martin rioters fill up on odd days, white people on even odder days.

    ReplyDelete