Wednesday, December 11, 2013

Nuke the Punchline - Best CSpot I Ever Spent

Harvey over at IMAO has posted a new straight line of the day, so it is time to choose the winners of the last one:

A New Study Shows That People Who Ignore Texts Are Happier. Other Keys to Happiness…


#5 Oppo:… stay off of Chuck Norris’ radar.

#4 c64wood:…making the top five in Straight Line of the Day.

#3 FormerHostage:…never get involved in a land war in Asia and never go against a Sicilian when death is on the line.

#2 Steve H:… ignoring ALL of the idiots in your life, not just the texting ones

And my favorite straight line of the day was from James:

A New Study Shows That People Who Ignore Texts Are Happier. Other Keys to Happiness...Paying the $95 to avoid the website. [I know that makes *me* happy :)]

And Crooner Cookies to Harvey for the Peanut's Happiness Song:

Song starts at 1:30

 Cookies to James and
Crooner Cookies to Harvey!

and today's best kiss uppers were Steve H, Bob B, MYthilt, FormerHostage, walruskkkch, and Fred Key:

A New Study Shows That People Who Ignore Texts Are Happier. Other Keys to Happiness…

Steve H: … Anonymiss’ cookies!  [Awwww... :)]

Bob B:…Anonymiss cookies, of course! [You guys are sweet :) ]

MYthilt: Ohhhh, gameshow idea. Punch Hippies, Earn cookies. Winner gets a years supply of cookies.
[Clever idea...:) ]

FormerHostage: …snickerdoodles and milk.
 [Yummy! :) ]

walruskkkch: ...Anonymiss cookies, THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE!
[Sweet talk :) ]

Fred Key: ...KISSAEAC
(Keep It Simple, Stupid, And Eat Anonymiss’s Cookies
[Very clever. Good advice :P ]

Kiss Up Cookies to Steve H,
Bob B, MYthilt, FormerHostage,

walruskkkch, and Fred Key
____________________

My favorite line yesterday was from Harvey:

When he heard that a sword wielding Texas man stole several tacos, President Obama...said it was proof that too many Americans were suffering from a tragic lack of tacos, and the government needs to take over the taco industry. Welcome to TacoCare.
  
Cookies to Harvey!
____________________

Here's a new line for you to try:


Anonymiss is really busy these days and is having difficulty finding time to judge the straight line. What should she do?

15 comments:

  1. Use a random number generator to pick "winning" lines, and be sure to award cookies to walruskkkch (you know how cranky he gets).

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I second that emotion.

      Delete
  2. Ask for volunteer "guest judges" who can submit their picks to Anonymiss (or Harvey, if Anonymiss is busy) to post for them.

    ReplyDelete
  3. What Harvey said...or you could outsource your task to "Anoonymiss", your doppelganger in Bangalore...

    Three letters - NSA (they know everything!)

    ReplyDelete
  4. Anonymiss is really busy these days and is having difficulty finding time to judge the straight line. What should she do?

    Cloning?

    ReplyDelete
  5. You could go all PC, and just declare that we are ALL winners! We would believe it...

    The BCS has nothing to do after the switch to a playoff...

    Maybe the ObamaCare Death Panel could warm up on some of these life-or-death decisions...

    ReplyDelete
  6. Give up sleep.

    It is what I do, and I barely mis........znork, hmph...zzzzzzzzzzzzzz

    ReplyDelete
  7. Start eating lotsa cookies, sugar load so high it will be january before you crash.
    (Mind you, when you wake mid-Feb, you might wonder why you frosted the kitchen table and tried to eat it.)

    ReplyDelete
  8. Shoot the hostage.

    (ugh, I can't believe I just quoted the movie Speed)

    ReplyDelete
  9. Change the title to "You've Been Taken Under Advisement!"

    ReplyDelete
  10. ...leave the gun, take the cannoli.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. -Also, James should have proper credit for the punchline. But at least he got his cookies.

      Delete
    2. Oops!

      Fixed now. Thanks for pointing out my mistake :)

      Delete
  11. "Intermittent Reinforcement is a term that originated from B.F. Skinner’s theories on Operant Conditioning and Behaviorism.

    "Intermittent reinforcement is given only part of the time a subject gives the desired response.

    It is often used instead of continuous reinforcement once the desired response is conditioned by continuous reinforcement and the reinforcer wants to reduce or eliminate the number of reinforcements necessary to encourage the intended response.

    "It was discovered that if you want to train an animal to do something, consistently rewarding that behavior isn’t the best way. The most effective training regime is one where you give the animal a reward only sometimes, and then only at random intervals."


    ReplyDelete