Friday, December 6, 2013

Nuke the Punchline - It's Not Complete

Harvey over at IMAO has posted a new straight line of the day, so it is time to choose the winners of the last one:

The Guardian Says It’s Only Published 1% of Snowden’s Secret Files. The Other 99% Reveal…


#5 Da**Cat:.…just how boring government paper work is.

#4 rodney dill.:…all of Obama’s golf plans and Michelle’s vacation plans through the end of his term.

#3 walruskkkch:. . .the deep programmed instructions in Obama’s brain from his handlers in North Korea.

#2 Oppo: … exactly how effectively the press is doing its supposed job.

And my favorite straight lines of the day were from Dohtimes:

The Guardian Says It’s Only Published 1% of Snowden’s Secret Files. The Other 99% Reveal…a partial list of the US government’s secret file security weaknesses.


 Cookies to Dohtimes!

and today's best kiss uppers were rodney dill, Bob B. , walruskkkch and Steve H:

The Guardian Says It’s Only Published 1% of Snowden’s Secret Files. The Other 99% Reveal…

rodney dillAnonymiss’s cookie recipes
 [It's a long, top secret list :)]

Bob B.:  …a little something called “The Anonymiss Files”.
 [I'm really hoping this is the same list rodney mentioned... :P ]

walruskkkch: ...All the failed attempts to duplicate Anonymiss cookies.
[Often imitated, but never duplicated :) ]

Steve H: … failed attempts of the CIA (Culinary Institute of America, not that CIA) to replicate Anonymiss’ cookies.
 [CIA can't bake. :P ]


Kiss up Cookies to rodney dill,
Bob B., walruskkkch and Steve H!
____________________

My favorite line from yesterday was from Dohtimes:

Two Million Facebook, Twitter and Gmail passwords were stolen by hackers. What will they do with them?
...be held up as an example of what two million North Korean hackers can accomplish when facing a firing squad for failure.
  
Cookies to Dohtimes!
____________________

Here's a new line for you to try:


'Tis the season for baking Christmas Cookies. What kinds should Anonymiss bake this year?

29 comments:

  1. I want one super-cookie with EVERYTHING good in it.

    Like chocolate chips, toffee chips, pepperoni pizza with extra bacon, and a pistachio ice cream filling.

    You CAN do that, right?

    *looks at Anonymiss with wide, hopeful eyes*

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Has anybody ever told you you're the tiniest bit crazy? :)

      Delete
  2. Replies
    1. I will be making A LOT. That part's not in question.

      What kind?? :P

      Delete
  3. I thought you had to bake them before we could find out what's in them?

    ReplyDelete
  4. Spam, spam, spam, spam, baked beans, and spam.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Remember, people, Christmas is a season for giving. So give me my d*** cookies already!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. And to round out my foray into misogyny:

      Sammich cookies.

      Delete
    2. I'm beginning to regret asking :P

      Delete
    3. Only beginning? I'm not trying nearly hard enough, then.

      Delete
  6. AGW Hoax cookies: plenty of icing.

    ReplyDelete
  7. (Anonymiss ascends to the lectern and starts reading from the Teleprompter)

    "I know there have been some people who have been frustrated by some missed deadlines and lack of cookies. And for that I am sorry. I am launching a 'bake surge' to get this wrong righted, and by December 25th, the Nuke the Punchline will be functional for the vast majority of users."

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You're kinda a snot, ya know that? :)

      Delete
  8. Enviro-whacko cookies: green on the outside, red on the inside.

    ReplyDelete
  9. "Candy cane" cookies with peppermint schnapps flavored red stripes.

    (What, I can't give a legitimate suggestion?)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Wait. That was a *legitimate* suggestion? :D

      Delete
  10. Gingerbread snowmen and sled snicker-doodles,
    Shiny bright snowflakes, just oodles and oodles,
    Santa and reindeer and Christmas bell rings,
    These are a few of my favorite things...

    ReplyDelete
  11. Square cookies, the kind that leave no wasted space between the cookies. But any Christmas cookie that does not require batteries or assembly instructions is a pretty good cookie.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Good old fashioned thimble cookies, with mint jelly dollops.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I have never tried those. Do you have a recipe?

      Delete
  13. Replies
    1. "Mine" like you have your own favorite? Do you want to share a recipe?

      Or "mine" like all of my Christmas cookies should be for rodney?

      I'm betting it's the latter :P

      Delete
  14. The perfect cookie: Cookie on the outside, more cookie on the inside and tastes like cookie! And as many a vegetarian has exclaimed, if God had wanted you to eat bacon He would have made pigs out of cookie dough.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hahahaha Are you trying to incite Harvey to battle? I believe them could be fightin' words at IMAO...

      Cookie dough pigs. Silly :)

      Delete
  15. ...Any kind, as long as they're not Obamacookies. I want to be able to eat them if I like them, and I know I'll probably like them.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Guaranteed. I won't allow any nasty walnuts anywhere near my cookies. :)

      Delete