I have to say, I'm pig-bitin' mad, and I feel the need coming on to channel one of my heroes, Opinion Columnist for the Only Paper That Matters, Ed Anger. And maybe throw a little Emily Litella in there, as well. For good measure.
I just heard what today is, and I'm hotter than a habanero rammed up the Human Torch's back end. I mean, I don't care what two consenting adults do in the privacy of their own bedroom, for Pete's sake! But why do I have to have all that stuff pushed up under my nose, flaunted out in public, and all.
I mean, it's getting to where a guy can't even go out to a bar anymore without a whole passel of 'em wanting to have a grab at his manly parts and that ain't right.
And don't get me started about the parades. And the "Street Fairs." Some things are meant to stay behind closed doors, if they have to exist at all, but there they are paraded out on the street where everybody can see them, including little babies and delicate ladies. That ain't right.
It's not like anyone is trying to stop the "activities," but what they want is not acceptance or tolerance: They want approval and I'll be dad-gummed if I'm going to give it to 'em.
And now they want a whole day to celebrate their "differences," and make us all think they're "normal," and it just so happens to fall on the Lord's Day this year, and that's got me madder than a rabid dog and a rabid bat and a rabid raccoon all bitin' each other and gettin' each other even more rabid.
Plus, the NAME they give it. I thought we weren't supposed to use that word. They tell us it's offensive and I'm sick of this "Only we can use that word, it's OUR word," garbage. Double standards suck. And what's good for the goose should be good for the, well, other goose.
And that's all I have to say about that.
UPDATE: I've just been informed that today is actually National American FLAG Day. So, just like, you know, never mind.