Monday, June 1, 2015

Suitcase Nuke

An Olympic athlete’s ambition: “One day, I want to be the oldest woman to ever grace the cover of Vanity Fair.”

32 comments:

  1. Obviously no one thinks your funny.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. This comment has been removed by the author.

      Delete
    2. The Grammar Hammer says: "you're," not "your."

      If you're going to be an anonymous, insulting douchebag, at least get your spelling correct.

      Delete
    3. I still love you, Mom.

      Delete
  2. As you can see if I didn't comment no one else would some blog you have.

    ReplyDelete
  3. It really wasn't a comment. It was merely a gratuitous insult with no real purpose other than convincing yourself your shriveled genitalia are somewhat larger than they really are, halfwit.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Young(?) anonymous one, I sincerely feel sorry for you. Your tepid attempt to denigrate others’ work (in this case play, because we actually have jobs) apparently reflects your own hunger for attention, much like a stereotypical Kardashian. Lord forgive me, but just this one time I will give it to you, only for your own potential edification.

      I think I can speak for the contributors at Nuking Politics in saying that when we insult or ridicule others, we go after those who deserve ridicule and scorn — self-important public figures and institutions — particularly those who try to sway public opinion to control our lives, our money, our speech, and our beliefs.

      If a half dozen other people enjoy it, that’s fine. If a few hundred do, that’s fine, too. If we also manage to tick off a few self-righteous progressive twits by calling them on their bull, all the better. But we don’t derive our self worth from others’ opinions of us.

      I hope you can eventually contribute something, rather than just try to belittle others in an attempt to feel better about yourself. There are many who do the latter; they are generally very dull, petty, and contrary for the sake of being so. They’re also about as welcome as flyspecks on sheet music.

      If you can articulate an actual opinion; something thoughtful, useful, interesting, or amusing to share, you’re invited to do so — maybe provide a link to your own work — but if you can offer nothing but dreary insults, I am truly concerned for you, and hope you can work out your problems.

      I urge you to get some help from a good counselor. Take care.

      Delete
    2. "I think I can speak for the contributors at Nuking Politics in saying that when we insult or ridicule others, we go after those who deserve ridicule and scorn — self-important public figures and institutions — particularly those who try to sway public opinion to control our lives, our money, our speech, and our beliefs."

      And occasionally the odd commenter. For sport.

      Delete
    3. I do have a job and some may consider me young others may not. All I did was state my opinion that this wasn't funny and obviously that's not allowed which is fine I do not care. I protect lives all day everyday and don't get respect for it from most of this country and that is fine . I do have a job that I am very proud of and it's not one where I sit behind a desk or in a factory I'm in the line of fire everyday so this is nothing new to me.

      Delete
  4. I don't have a penis I am female. So how smart do you feel now?

    ReplyDelete
  5. Because I'm insulting something that really is important. Its called an opinion but apparently you can't have those anymore. Your real tough behind that computer screen.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Female? Transitioning, maybe.

    You can express an opinion without being a total dirtbag. You chose not to, so I called you out on it.

    And it's "You're really tough..." not "your real tough." And you're definitely one to talk about hiding behind a computer screen. You hide behind not only a computer screen, but a total lack of identity.

    Grow some ovaries, girly.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Haha no definitely not transgender but if you want to make fun of me for that it is fine. You can judge me for the way I talk I do not care if that makes you feel better about yourself that's fine. I do not have to be a dictionary to be smart it just makes you look like a jackass. I do not have an identity on here because I chose not to and that is my choice. Pretty sure I have a bigger pair of ovaries and a bigger set of balls than you do.

    ReplyDelete
  8. I'm not judging you for the way you talk, I'm judging you for the way you write: like an uneducated four-year-old. A dictionary isn't the problem, but perhaps a book on grammar would be of some use.

    I don't worry much about looking "like a jackass." I'm pretty sure that I AM, in fact, a "jackass," and I wear the designation with pride.

    And further, it's rather disingenuous to choose not to "have an identity on here," then criticize someone for "hiding behind a computer screen." Pot, meet kettle.

    And I'm not sure I would brag about having "a bigger set of balls" than I do. I'm hung like a hamster.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Ok thats fine if you think I'm uneducated because I have a diploma and a degree to prove otherwise. It is my choice not to have an identity just like it is your choice to say I am uneducated.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I didn't SAY you were uneducated. I said you WRITE as though you are uneducated. And there's a difference you might do well to learn on the difference between education and knowledge. If you spend your time in classes with names ending in "Studies," you might be educated (some would say MISeducated), but you probably don't have a lot of actual knowledge. At least not of actual, real life facts,

      And when you write as though you are uneducated, employers will assume you are uneducated, which is not a good thing. Unless you like repeating the phrase "Would you like fries with that?" Over and over and over again. And over and over and over again.

      And I didn't say it was an illegitimate choice to "not have an identity." I said it was hypocritical to do that and then criticize someone else for doing the same, especially when it's to a far lesser degree.

      And I'm not all that impressed by diplomas and degrees. I have several, in actual useful, marketable skills, which is not really particularly impressive: Both Bush 43 and Obama have several, so no matter which end of the political spectrum you come from you have a good reason to doubt the value of even an Ivy League degree.

      Choices have consequences. That's the nature of making decisions. If you don't like the consequences, perhaps you made he wrong decision.

      Delete
  10. You can think what you want that's fine. My degrees are something I am proud of I am the only one to go to college in my family and it definitely wasn't to work at McDonald's. I protect people's lives everyday and wonder if I'm going to get to come home to my family. I also get bashed for doing my job everyday by the public but I am out there protecting those lives that think I am a bad person because of my title. So I'm pretty sure I have real life knowledge a whole lot more than you think I do but you don't know me or my life.

    ReplyDelete
  11. So, Justice League Warrior by Day, Internet troll/French Taunter by night. And just which of the Super Friends are you? Wonder Woman? Hawkgirl? Aquaman (I'm pretty sure "he" is transgender. Any superhero that lame would have to be a chick.) Actually, my money is on Gleek.

    I tend to fall toward the other side of the spectrum. I'm not Jabba the Hutt, but there IS a strong family resemblance.

    I'm also the only one in my immediate family (sort of) with an (appropriately named) B.S. but I am not particularly proud of my degrees. When there's a job to do that requires a degree, you either get the degree or you don't get the job. I wanted the job, so the degree was simply a step along the way.

    So you're "pretty sure" you have real life knowledge. That's better than "reasonably sure" but not as good as "absolutely sure." What do you need to do to know for certain you have real life knowledge? Take the red pill?

    And of course I don't know you or your life: you're "anonymous" and proud of it, remember? Hiding behind the computer screen and popping out from time to time to tell us all how lame we are.

    So, was my mother a hamster? Did my father smell of elderberries? Do you wave your private parts at my aunties?

    Just curious.

    ReplyDelete
  12. I never said you were lame I said the post wasn't funny. I don't consider myself a super hero just doing my job and I got the degree to better myself and get the job. Also have real life experience in the military but I'm sure that's not considered experience either.

    ReplyDelete
  13. They can't all be Zingers. it's not that expressing one's opinion is not allowed around here, it's the tone taken in expressing oneself that might be viewed as offensive.

    And no, the military isn't real life. And I'm pretty sure most of the rest of us who have spent time in the military would agree. Not saying that it's not experience of some sort, but it ain't real life.

    ReplyDelete
  14. No its not real life especially when your in Iraq but it is what is nothing you can so about it but deal with the task at hand.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Those are mighty big words from someone with no face and no name. Hard to back up, if you know what I mean. We take claims of military service quite seriously around here. Maybe not Admiral Boorda seriously, but close.

    BTW - You're = You are. Your = It belongs to you. Yore = A long time ago. This is important. The grammar police will come down on you hard around here. Don't doubt it.

    ReplyDelete
  16. Sorry for the grammar. As far as military I'm proud of my service and I wouldn't trade it but like you said it is not real life.

    ReplyDelete
  17. You know, you've strongly implied that you are an LEO, and that people tend to dislike you for it, to put it mildly. I think you might find that if you made up a nice profile name and put a nice picture with it (doesn't have to be a personal picture, could be flowers, or a teddy bear or something disgustingly sweet like that...or you could go the other way and use Darth Vader or something, anything that kicks butt.), and perhaps refrained from making rude and nasty comments at us (at least until we know you a little better), you might find you're among friends.

    You know...catching flies...honey...vinegar...etc. (Though why you'd want to catch flies is beyond me.)

    We may not be big on big government around here, but we DO believe in law and order and that the military kicks butt. Especially the Navy.

    Just a suggestion. You don't have to be a pariah.

    ReplyDelete
  18. Hmm. Response after response with abuse, but kindness drives her away.

    The offer stands open.

    ReplyDelete
  19. Didn't drive me away was on duty didn't have time to respond.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Well, as I said, feel free to make up a nice profile with a decent pseudonym. That way you can leave snotty comments and we'll just say ," Oh, that's whatsername being whatsername," and not get overly defense about it.

      Delete
  20. Arik, I thought that post was hilarious. The whole business has been so horrible and ridiculous...and this was the first thing I've read about it that made me laugh. Thanks :)

    ReplyDelete
  21. Arik, I thought that post was hilarious. The whole business has been so horrible and ridiculous...and this was the first thing I've read about it that made me laugh. Thanks :)

    ReplyDelete
  22. Sorry about that, Arik and Les. I thought that Arik had written that. Great job making me laugh out loud, Les! :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I guess my full-throated defense of Les' honor may have confused you a bit, but this one was Les making a funny, all by himself! :)

      Delete
  23. Thank you, ladies and gentlemen, and all the ships at sea. I'm just glad to know I apparently still have the mojo to get everybody worked up a bit.

    Some blog we have, indeed!

    ReplyDelete