About: Nuking Politics
This blog is a "conservative" view of current American politics, including various and sundry politics, philosophy, satire, humor, voodoo, and nuclear weapons to make a point about American politics. Conservative is in quotations because, from my historical perspective, the classical conservative is nothing like the modern one.
Nuking Politics is really from a classical liberal point of view, in the context of the American founding fathers and such prolific philosophers as John Locke. The left, or progressives as they were once known, have hijacked the term "liberal" in an effort to identify themselves with the likes of Jefferson and "Jemmy" James Madison, the authors of our Declaration of Independence and Constitution, respectively.
Thus, you will rarely (if ever) see any reference to the left as "liberals" in this blog. Because they aren't liberals. They are for big government and centralization to further the cause of social engineering. No actual liberal founding father believed in or would advocate such nonsense. Their political beliefs were completely the opposite.
This blog was inspired mainly by imao.us. It is a form of political activism, and simply speaking one's mind. It is an exercise of the first amendment to the U.S. Constitution, specifically the freedom of speech. It is with the belief that no citizen with a stake in this great nation and this bold experiment we call America should relegate one's speech to merely yelling at the TV screen. This blog is proof of what a simple citizen can do when he or she speaks their mind.
Keln is a man, but he isn't 40.
Keln is married to a woman and has two sons.
Keln was in the Navy, on a submarine, and worked in the nuclear plant successfully without blowing it up.
Keln was in the Army National Guard, because he wanted to learn how to shoot things.
Keln used to be an electrician. But he and electricity had a falling out about 4 years ago.
Keln now works in the nuclear industry.
Keln likes writing, and has been writing on the interwebs for a while, like at Associated Content.
Keln is a Conservative-Classic Liberal, and doesn't like hippies.
Keln likes sharing his thoughts. Some people don't like Keln's thoughts.
Keln can write about himself in the third person, as you can see here.
We do prefer talking about Keln using the royal "we" though.
From an early age Chris Johnston knew he was destined for greatness. His love for entertainment and politics drove him begin writing nearly 2 weeks ago. He now adds this love of satire and objective journalism to his list of other pastimes, some of which include beer, baseball, owning a web production company, tweeting adult film actresses, crying, and loneliness.
For more information on Chris Johnston, please consult your local library, twitter- @chrisjohnbone, or theharmelodynetwork.com.
About: Lactose the Intolerant
He is a classical liberal with strong libertarian tendencies but would be willing to align himself with any political party that would anoint him as Dictator for Life. He would be a kind master.
He loves the environment and is very active in promoting global warming. He dreams of a time when the globe will once again be warmed to pre-cambrian levels, a lush tropical paradise from pole-to-pole, and maybe dinosaurs would re-evolve. That would be cool.
He is a strong believer in abortion. He is almost certain abortions exist. But he hates them.
While his origins are mysterious and unknown, he has yet to manifest any marketable superpowers. If he was asked to choose his favorite superpower, it would be China. He likes the idea of a billion minions who are used to abject obedience. And he likes General Gao’s Chicken.
He is a post racial blogger. He doesn’t see people in terms of race, sex or creed. He just sees masses equally suited to do his bidding.
He is living proof that there is money to be made conducting medical experiments on the homeless, though he is currently banned from testing midgets, orphans and Unitarians.
He is currently the parent of five unsold children. Call him with your best offer. BOGO continues through next Sunday.
He is often accused of narcissism, but he’s too self-absorbed to pay attention to these false accusations.
He is often mocked by other bloggers for making lists.About: Les
Les is a radio announcer/producer-type guy who occasionally likes to do graphic/cartoon/video production to keep from going sane.
Les sometimes uses a lot of slashes.
He also tends to use improperly spaced dashes — only because he habitually writes copy meant to be read out loud, and the extra spacing helps.
He married relatively late in life, and instantly went from being a bachelor to being a grandpa.
At his outdoor wedding, his father-in-law wore a cap that read, “PETA: People Eating Tasty Animals.” True story.
He once placed third in a riff writing contest at Rifftrax, and a few of his lines were included in The Matrix comment track, in the scene where Neo meets the Oracle.
When he was only three, he killed a bear for snoring too loud.
That last one’s not true, but Les has been told that he snores like a bear.
Who would know what a snoring bear sounds like?
Hunter was thrown from heaven in the early 1960s due to his nigh-eternal
opposition to light rail, and his (at the time) refusal to acknowledge its
existence as part of God's master plan. He impacted in Dallas, causing a
large swelling in a small urban middle-class family.
Once released from the hospital (opinion is divided whether the stay was for
incubation or quarantine purposes), he was introduced to his two-year-older
sister, who thought he was a new doll, grabbed him by the hair, and dragged
him across the bed. That vicious and expensive war finally subsided
sometime during college.
He began his musical training at age three, and was performing self-composed
improvisational works before concert audiences at Southern Methodist
University by age five. In fairness, it should be pointed out that,
strictly speaking, that particular performance was not intended to be
improvisational, but he couldn't remember what he was supposed to play, so
he made something up on the spot. At a very young age it also became
shockingly apparent that he should never be given the chance to write about
He met his wife-to-be when he was sixteen (she was fifteen), while working
in the mission field, and although neither of them knew that a mere 24 years
later they would be wed, they still managed become friends, and occasionally
get into trouble.
In school he was a bit of a paradox. He was known for being on the outside
fringe edge of the inside group. In his final year of high school he
co-taught Senior English, focusing on "The Merchant of Venice", while
repeating Freshman English, which he had failed. He graduated with the
2nd-highest SAT score in his grade, and dead-last in his class. "Arrogant
slacker getting through by the skin of his teeth" was typical of the unjust
accusations commonly thrown his direction.
He volunteered for the Marines days before he turned 18. The recruiters
loved his attitude but not his recklessly accumulated injuries, so they
thanked him for his time and turned him down.
Always a trail-blazer, he was one of the early pioneers of the
seven-and-a-half-year, five-institutions of higher education, undergraduate
college experience. At some point graduation became inevitable, so his
two-and-a-half years of non-degreed post-graduate work should be considered
as not much more than a desperate and misguided attempt to hang onto (and
possibly make up for) the past.
Don't ask him about that time he walked along a narrow steel beam on the
outside edge of the top of a skyscraper in New York City during a snow
storm. None of the story will sound even remotely believable, and you'll
never get him to shut up about it.
Flash forward far, far, far too many years - WAY more than his early friends
and peers even expected him to live - and we find that he is now a happily
married father of two lovely girls, both of whom are obviously brighter than
their daddy. The younger daughter is also easily as wordy.
His lovely, smart, and relentlessly patient wife is a nurse, which is beyond
handy given the occasionally necessary repairs.